shzexian.

Goodbyeeee. (':

2012-01-27T19:29:00.004+08:00

Todayyyyy. I woke up really excited. Haha. I couldn't wait to put my plans into action. :P Was gonna meet with yentinggg alone actually. The last time before she leaves to Shanghai. But I brought along some peopleeeee. :D It's actually a surprise. But FAILED a little. haha. THAT SHEA LAH. Ruin my plan. -.- He better not see this. :P

KAYYYYYYYYYY.

Woke up at 9, gosok gigi, cuci muka, pakai baju and went out for breakfast with my parents at Lee Yuan's Tea House. HAHAH. :P Eat dim sum yay! :D Was waiting for either Zijun or Joeyee to text me as according to plan, but none of them did. Yerrrh. -.- The plan was that I was supposed to meet them around 10.30 at Chatime and then finish up the book i made for her while waiting for Sheazheng to come. But then this FAIL people lah. All come late. -.- So I went to Yenting's house early, at 10.3o .____. Thennnnn, went up to her room and talk, go online etc.

We walked out at about 11 something and found out that we forgot to take some stuff. WALKED BACK. Haha. Who knew, I suddenly received a text from Shea and he reached dyyyy! Mygodddd. Told him that we were coming out but like I cant rush yenting if not she'll suspect right? :P That guy takde patience and he called me. NOOOOOO. Why he ruin my plan? D: Anyway, we walked out straight to Chatime to place our order and went to Paparich to look for Shea. He was eating lunch there. :P So he payed the bill and we walked over. Lol.

Went in, sat down and talkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. :D The 3 of us memang sampat lahh. LOL LOL. Talk talk talk, zat here and there, stareeee, LAUGH. :P Anddddd. Shea kept on taking random pictures of me and yenting. haha. Haihhhhhh. Good times (Y) (: Then, Zijun finally cameeeee and Yenting got surprised (Y) yayyyyyyy! haha. At least a part of the plan worked out. :D Next, we were waiting for Joeyeeee. (:

Suddenly, Yenting came up with the idea to celebrate Zijun's birthday now cause she promised him before. So she told Shea and then me and shea laughed cause zijun actually wanted to do that but the both of us didn't want to. HAHA. Epic. So we agreed lah. I went to Secret Recipe with Yenting to buy the cake for Zijun while Shea stays there with him. :P We came back, surprised him and ate some cake. After awhile, 2.30 to be exact, Shea left. D: Byebyee. :P

Poor Joeyee lah, his dad took him round KL 3 times. hahah. Then only he dropped him here at Chatime. And when he reached, Shea already left. D: Poor dude. He ate the balance of the cake. :P And then we talkeddddd and he wrote in the book too. :D Joeyee's really cute lah yorrrr. hahaha. Pucit pucit. x) Talk talk talk and then me and yenting went to print some pictures. (: Afterthat, walked over to Strabucks to meet up again with Zijun and Joeyee.

When we reached Starbucks, it started raininggggggg. D: And we had to walk back. LOL. So we were all planning what to do. Haha. We started walking back lah anyway, on the covered pavements and then we saw Yenting's dad. HAHAHA, but we still continued walking back and the rain got lighter. :D Luckily. haha. I went back to Yenting's house while Zijun and Joeyee went to watch a movie.

Dad came at 5.30 and i went back. (:

::::

Weird ><

The last day we meet before Yenting goes to Shanghai. She's leaving tomorrow at 9.30. ): Sadddddddd. We're all gonna miss youuuuu! (: Good luck and All the best kayy! LOVESSS ♥ (:

For you, there's still 9 days.
shzexian.

恭喜啊恭喜，发啊发大财 (:

2012-01-25T23:38:00.003+08:00

Hello people (:

Chinese new year.
Hmmm. I really have nothing to do eh.
Stay at home. Use computer. Went to grandpa's house. the end.
Sien dieeeeee. LOL

But, you know what.
We shouldn't complain. erm.
There's so many people out there starving in the cold. Watching the fireworks and feeling sad that they can't be part of it. D:
We must be STOIC :D

::::

初二. went to grandpa's house. like usual. (:
Went there for lunch! :D
and played with Sing Joe! My 2 years old cousin brother. CUTE DIE :D

He was so happy when I started snapping photos of him. LOL
We all call him Ah Joe or Joe Joe. hahahaha. :P
Macam joeyee. hahaha. x)

Constipated look. HAHA.
He was trying to smile. :P

He kept on running about with that cup in his hand. LOL

Cute lah yorrrrr. CUTE. (:

Put all the photos together and it looks like this.
HEH. (:

Besides this cute little kid, I talked a little to my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandpa. :D One of my cousins just came back from Singapore and literally changed from head to toe. o.o mygoshhhhhh. Boys nowadays. HAHA. :P We went there for lunch and talked till 5 and went back home. (:

Nothing much to say eh.
Hmmmmmm.

12 more days till CNY ends! (:

Voonhao went back to singapore dy. ):

2 more days till yenting goes to shanghai. :/

We're all just racing with time.
shzexian.

CNY :D

2012-01-23T00:31:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year peopleeeee! :D

It's that time of the year again! :D
REDDDDDD EVERYWHERE. :D
Time to get angpausssss, eat food, get fat, and more angpaussssss.
hahaha. :P

Have fun peeps! (:

With love,
shzexian.

I wanna be strong.
I don't wanna cry because of you anymore. (:

I wish I could go back.

2012-01-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

Not about him. but you.

LIFE.

We always say that life isn't fair, but what have we done to deserve better?

Have been feeling so down lately. It's like I'm surrounded by smiles but my heart is just showing me a frown. Seriously I know what I told myself to do. I know that I shouldn't be like this. I know I know. But just because I know doesn't mean that I'll be able to do it. I've been trying so hard lately. I really am.

I know that just because I treat someone like a really close friend doesn't mean that I am theirs too. I know that just because someone means alot to me doesn't mean that I will mean alot to them too. I know that just because I care doesn't mean that you have to care too.

Lately, everything seems different. We both said that things would never change. Maybe you don't feel it, but I do. You have the whole world waiting for you but with limited time. You have to live your life the way you want to. Whatever your plan is, I already know how this would turn out, in the end.

Again, with tears in my eyes.
I slowly erase the promises you made.
I try to put down hope.
I try to face everything with a smile.

Again, with a missing piece.
I gather the rest of the pieces and stick them back together only to watch them fall into pieces again.
I mend it with the memories of the past which never last long.
I tell myself nevermind, its okay, its nothing. yet it takes another piece of me away.

I'm only afraid to lose you.

Too afraid.

So I try to get any chance I can.

But I never did get any.

ahiddenshadow.
shzexiann.

2012 yay! :D

2012-01-07T23:00:00.005+08:00

Hello! (:
So long since I've updated. D:
Dear bloggie, sorry for leaving you so unalive. HAHA.
I wanted to blog on the first day of the year!
Too bad lah, too tired and lazy and busy. :P YESHH, all at the same time. :D
Shall talk about those few days now. (:

Life is Beautiful. (:

THE FIRST DAY OF THE YEAR! Page 1 of 366.
1/1/12 was spent at Shea's house with Yenting, Zijun, Joeyee and Dahui! :D
We talked alot, spammed emo songs, played cards, Joeyee tetris-ed and Dahui watched dota on youtube. We stalked people too. :P Watched Final Destination 5. I have never seen guys freak out this much before. Zijun and Joeyee were like hugging each other and Zijun kept making weird sounds. -.- I didn't even like freak out when I watched it. LOL. Joeyee and Dahui were so afraid that Sheashin was at home. Their scout senior. HAHA. awwwwww. We spent most of the time talkingggggggggggggg. Zat here and there. Haih. Awkwarddddddddddddd. D:
Actually, we didnt really do much. Just spending time with each other lah. Haha.

Page 3 of 366! (:
Went to school for LKT duty!
We put back the brooms into the classes. Put the class tags back into its rightful place. Discussed about camp. Sorted out the AJK badges. And did it all before 12. We are awesome. Haha. Then went to Mid with Menghui. haha. Bought ingen's birthday present and ate Snowflakes. :D Then went home. :P

Page 4! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! (Y) :D
Brought so much hope to school. Saw the new principal and I went -.- He told us that we have no manners at all and asked us to bow 90 degrees and greet the teachers that we see in school. Kay lah. I do greet and bow to teachers. But not 90 degrees lah! Need to be so kua zhang anot oh? -.- Anyway, 4S4. (: Class teacher, Pn. Salmiah. (: And guess whatttttt. IM THE KT! :D Yayyyyyyy. Haha. Have been wanting to be KT for 3 years dy. Finally. Haha. (: Teacher asked me to choose PKT. So erm er. I choose Menghui. hahaha. :P Bendahari is Songling and KK is HOZIJIAN. :D Hmmm. I seriously didn't get any good teachers. ): nvm. gonna study on my own. and well, tuition. :P First day of school, not bad at all. Heh. (:

2012,
This year,
I'm really gonna make it worth living.
With so much responsibility, so much to accomplish, so much to achive. I need to make a change. Gotta work harder, gotta make things right.
I don't want to be just another ordinary student, I wanna stand out. Enough of being a background. It's time for each and every one of us to shine. (:
Gonna be more cheerful and just face everthing with a smile.

No matter what, I've got to believe in myself.
Jiayouuuuuuuu shzexian! (:

::::

Voonhao went to Singapore dy. ):
Received a text from him on the day before he left. Sad die. D: Emo grandpa, stay awesome kay. I know you'll do G R E A T ! :D Remember to online more often kay. (: Good luck, all the best. I enjoyed your company throughout this 2 years. (: Thanks for the memories, they were great. Lovess. ♥ :')

Haihh. I miss you lah weih. D:

::::

Goodluck to all. (:
shzexian

Byeeeeee 2011 (:

2011-12-31T21:47:00.030+08:00

Its the last day of 2011!
This year has really been an AWESOMEEEEEEE year!
The whole 365 days, 52 weeks, 8470 hours, 525600 minutes, 31536000 seconds of it. (:
There's so many people I wanna thank, so many things I wanna say. Gosh.
Come come, rewind abit. :P

#1 - 3A4 (:

To be honest, I came to this class without any hopes. haha. 'Cause I had no close friends in the same class. But in the end, we all became friends. (: I remember coming in on the first day of school, sitting with HOMUNHAN! The first person I wanna thank! Thanks for being so lameeee and making me smile all the time. (: Then, we changed places and I sat with WONGWEIJUN. Second person I wanna thank. :P Thankyou for always keeping me company, always asking me why I emo and always letting me bully you. owhhh. and always chatting with me on facebook. :D Next, LOWKARWIN! Friends since kindergarten! Tennis boy, always absent from school. :P Thankyou for always caring, you have friends kay, you have me! (: TIONGINGEN. Everyday talk talk talk. Hahaha. My neighbour in class since the second semester. Always fighting but after 5 minutes sure okay one. Thankyou for teaching me Japanese! :D Arigato gozaimasu! (: JASPERLOHMENGHUI. :P My master yoh! Thankyou for being lame and all the company you gave. Jangan terharu sangat kay. x) Thankyou to the rest for making this year wonderful too. This might not be the best class, but still, we were happy. (:

#2 - I've got braces! :D

BRACESSSSSSSSSSSSS. Wasn't used to it at first. You know, having loads of metal in your mouth thinking that it'll get rusty. HAHA. Fighting with all those pain. Even taking panadol so that I can sleep better. LOL. Actually, that was the first few months after I got braces. Afterthat, aiyo nothing dy lah. :P Hehe. The dentist said that I can remove it after one and a half years. :P Can't wait to get them off! (:

#3 - First Chinese New Year performance with the Form 4's! (:

I remember squeezing in Joning's car with Kweeyew and Jieying with all the percussion instruments, my erhu and a zhongruan 'cause the van that was supposed to fetch us there left. Stupidddddddd guy. HAHA. Then Joning and Rueyying's parents drove us there. LOL. Epic dieeeeeee. Then, we reached there and met Jiahui and Desmond! (: Fooled around, performed, had fun and got angpau's! :P

#4 - Joined my first netball competition! :D

Sorry but I don't have a photo for this. :(
Anyway, I had loads of fun during this competition! My teammates were Enhuey, Jiayi, Likchung, Chensheng, Quanwey, Mingkiat and Yuanhong! (: We did an awesomeeeeeeeeeee job although we came in 3rd! RAWR. I remember fooling around with Quanwey at the side while other people were playing. Heh. My awesomeeeee grandson! HAHAHA. (: and thennnnnnn, I also remember hugging Voonhao and Yenting while we were all SWEATY during the finals! Good times. :D

#5 - First 合奏大赛 at Penang! :D

Our school entered two teams and the results were one gold and one silver. (: 剑舞 and The Lord of the Dance! :D 3 days 2 nights in Penang. Having the most sampat roommates in the world. Playing spin the bottle in the middle of the night. HAHA. Practicing in a school in Penang. Got scolded by Mr Wong. Cheering on each other and crying together when the results were announced. (: We did all of these together. Awesomeeeee yo! (: Andddddddd. I must thank Tiensing for keeping me company on the bus. haha. Thankyouuuuuuu! (:

#6 - Got voted as 二胡组长 2011/2012 in Pmo! (:

Sorry that this picture is too imba. Other picture me no smile nice nice. :P HAHAHA. Was shocked actually, but it wasn't the post I aimed for either. NEVERMIND! I'll give it my best shot! :D Nothing's too hard to face! Shzexian, jiayou! :D

#7 - Voted as Penolong Ketua Kebersihan 2 2011/2012 in Monitorial Board! (:

PKK2! Hahaha. Not bad lah actually. It's not as bad as it sounds. :P I kinda like my job though. (: Gonna do my best in the Monitorial Board! Walking the path of Leadership. (:

#8 - 31st of July. Musical Night! :D

One of the best days ever! I spent the whole day with Katherine! Running and jumping around. Haha. Took loads of pictures! (: Spent some time with Voonhao too! :D I remember me, Kath and Yanhui going to E block's toilet to bath and change and do our makeup. :P And me making everyone sparkle with glitter. HAHAHA. x) Me, Kath, Zijun and Yongsheng also talked to Mr. Wong KK that day. :P And OMG, his daughter is really CUTE. :D To be honest, I watched the whole Musical Night performance for more than 4 times dy 'cause we had rehersal's almost everyday. Sien ._. HAHA. Spent alot of time with awesomeeeee people though! (:

Hmm. I seriously love this photo to bits! Love the effect and I can see meeeeeeeeeeeeee! :P

#9 - Performed during Bulan Penghayatan Kemerdekaan in school! (:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I can't seem to stop laughing at this picture. I know sure ruin my image sikit. x) But it was my first time in Baju Kebaya and it belongs to Cik Shahila, my class teacher! :D Yerr. So noob weih. LOL.

#10 - Drama competition for the second time! :D

WE CAME IN 3RD! :D It's a really good thing 'cause it was impromptu. We didn't rehearse at all. :P You see, we banyak AWESOME! :D Btw, I just realised that I was the only girl in that drama, main actor somemore. o.o ohmygoshhhh. HAHA. But all of them are like primary school friends and club mates. (: Funnnnnnnnnn. :P

#11 - Faced PMR! RAWR :D

I have no idea who took this candid shot, but it is useful. :P Studying in pmo hall after school! :D I remember all those hardcore times in the library with Zijun and Katherine! :D Fighting over the answers to questions with Sean and Dahui in tuition too. (: Eventhough it's studying, eventhough it's an exam, eventhough it was boring, I STILL HAD ALOT OF FUN! I can't believe I'm saying this, but YEAHHHH! :D

Well nowwwwwwww, PMR IS OVER! It's all just a memory now. :P

#12 - Went on an outing with the Form 3 pmo-ians! (:

After all that happened last year, we're still standing here as one. :D Our bond became stronger and we got closer. I don't know if that's a good thing. But for now, we'll just make each and every moment the best moment. (:

#13 - First ever Graduation Day duty! :D

Puan Chee and Voonhao! Two of the most awesome people that made this year great! :D Me and Voonhao were partners during the duty on graduation day. Finishing up the Buku Aturcara in the teacher's room with Voonhao was a blast! We talked, smiled, laughed, got mad, complained, fooled around, slacked a little, but managed to finish in time! HAHA! My awesomeeeee buddy! :D

We are the group that is incharged of the VIP's. :D Had so much fun stalking them. HAHA. x) and I remember the way Vinton pinned the rosette near the Brother's armpit. Mygoddddddd. Cute die. :P Hehe.

Group Photo! :D

#14 - Went to an awesomeeeeee camp! iBelieve! :D

Galilee! :D

I seriously must thank Jerning for bringing me to this camp! Omg. It was awesome and made it as the best memory of 2011 for me. (: Met new people, made new friends and got new memories. (:

#15 - Christmas at SMK Confucian! (:

♥ (:

And now for the people that I want to thank! (:

#1 - Teo Jer Ning (:

Thanks for everything buddy! (: We've been going through thick and thin together. Sharing smiles and frowns. :D We can even understand each others body signals. haha. Amazing huh. :P Never met someone like you, banyak awesome. All the best in your new class kay! I know you can make it through just like always! (:

#2 - Chong Yen Ting

Hi yenting Hi! :D Friends since Form one and thats when we started to sampat together. Enjoyed the several outings with her and Jun. (: Always ready to listen to me. haha. And complain about stuff together. (: A really awesome friend! Why do you have to go to Shanghai next year? D: Haihh. Good luck and all the best kay! Better not forget me. (: I'll miss you loads! Remember to send your smile to me through the wind. :D Lovess (: ♥

#3 - Lee Zi Jun

Baka zijun. :P Thankyou for always listening to me lah yor. Although you just ruined my life, I still can't get mad at you. Why? mygoddddddd. Haha. Thanks for playing Squash with me every Monday, next year too kay! I book you dy! :P We both memang like to zat here and there, tease each other to the max yet still tell each other our secrets. Haih. Life memang like that de lah. Haha. Good luck, Zijun! Jangan sad dy. (:

#4 - Loh Meng Hui

My master! :D Thanks for sharing all those korean stuff with me lah. :P JYJ! :D Everyday make me laugh laugh laugh. Then zat here and there. Haha. Had an awesome year with you! :D Had fun in LKT and 3A4 too! Haha. Sampat with ingen, doing awkward things all the time. Mygodd. Shouting daiki infront of him. -.- NVM! Me no angry. :P Same class with you next year eh! (: All the best! :D Inoshishi, kawaii desu ne. :P

#5 - Tang Voon Hao

HAHA. My awesome buddy! (: Love him banyak banyak. :P WHY YOU GO SINGAPORE NEXT YEAR? D: Haih. Nvm. Good luck! All the best to you! :D Hopefully you wont forget the stupid silly things that we've done together. (: Although stupid, it was memorable. Laugh till we cry. :P *Let's go shopping hand sign* HAHA. Mygodddddd. Why you leave? Who gonna hug me when I cry and help me block the reporters from taking pictures huh? Who gonna be an emo grandpa and call me emo granny again huh? Who gonna snatch daiki with me huh? ): How I wish you didn't have to go. Sigh. Hmmmmm. But it's the best for you. (: Stay smiley kay voonhaoooooo. (: Lovess. (: ♥

#6 - Goh Shu Rui

My cute sampat senior! :D haha. Thanks for always listening and sharing stories with me kay! Sangat awesomeeeeeeee. (: Me likey. Haha. We high-gei more next year kay! Since we have the same reccess time now. :P Looking forward. Btwwwww, thanks for reading my blog all these while. (; Gamdong die. :P Hmmmm. Daijoubu? (: ♥

#7 - Jaykerr Cheong

Hello Jayyyy! (: Thanks for always being there for me, thanks for always listening. (: My awesome brother. Stay smiley kay. It's a new year dy! Start fresh! :D We two little emo kids. Haihh. You smile, I smile kay. (: If you don't, don't wanna let you go back to Aussie. HAHA. Still have not met you yet after you came back to Malaysia. :/ Hmmmm. It's okay. I understand. (: Have fun while you're back kay! Enjoy the warmth. All the best and Good Luck to you! Will miss you loadssssss when you get back there. Sigh. ): Genki desuka? Lovess. (: ♥ Huggieeeeee gor. (:

And to all the other people out there, THANKYOU for making 2011 a really awesome year for me. 2011, it's the year where I grew up and learned to face all those things that were coming my way. This year, I smiled a whole lot more and just did what I wanted to do without hesitation. 2011 was awesomeeeeeeeeee and epic indeed. It's too bad that we have to say goodbye to each other. Well, memories will always stay. So what if people say that memories are supposed to fade huh? I've got this blog full of words and pictures to remind me. (:

So, Goodbye 2011.

I will miss you. (:

2012, please be nice to me kay! :D

Welcome 2012!
Daiki, omoide o arigato. (:

shzexian.

What are you fighting for? (:

2011-12-29T21:28:00.004+08:00

They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for.

Well, what am I fighting for?

Hmmmm.

Life seems to be just like a war to me. Endless battles. Each battle though, brings different meanings to me after it ends. Never have I won, never have I lost.

Each time it starts, I bring myself forward with a sword in my hand and a shield in the other. I fill myself with confidence which always seems to wear off before it even ends. Without an army behind me, I set out to face whatever that's coming for me. Standing alone, on a big field, looking out at what's coming for me, I only hope that I'll live and not just survive.

People always say that it doesn't matter whether you win or lose. It's the things that you learn from the process that matters the most. As I stand there watching the enemy charge at me, I hold up my shield and try to run. Never did I know that on this big field, there's no place to hide. I ran as fast as I could, dodging all the arrows and swords that were coming my way. I ran and ran and ran, feeling that this was never ending.

I was getting tired of all that running. It was like wasting energy on something pointless. I stopped and just stood there. I watched as the enemy came closer and closer and closer. The enemy was almost near. Instead of taking off, I just closed my eyes. I waited. I waited for it to happen. What, you ask? I was waiting for the time where the enemy's sword would pierce through my body and arrows stuck in different parts of me leaving me on this field, alone, in a blood bath. But, it never happened.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw the enemy standing infront me. I took that chance, my only chance to make things right. I threw my sword down to ground, not in surrender but asking for peace. I tried to make everything seem like a dream to the enemy. And for me, waking up from a nightmare.

Was I fighting for you?
Daiki, anatamo genkini site kudasai.

shzexian.

Daijoubu?

2011-12-27T23:58:00.003+08:00

'Cause we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry, I can't be perfect.

::::
I walked down that same old corridor where the memories of you and me were last left. Standing by the stairs, I closed my eyes and let the wind take me away. Way far back to the time we both could understand each other's silence. I could feel it, I could feel your presence. I reached out my hands towards you and all I felt was ... nothing. Sigh. I opened my eyes and gave this very familiar wind a big smile and walked away. All that is left now is my smile in the wind missing yours. (:

If only the wind would bring my smile to you and make you feel better when you're not alright. If only the sky could tell me how you're doing all the time. If only the wind could blow away your fears. If only the rain could take over your tears. If only the appearance of the sun meant that you're alright. If only the stars would lead you through the night.

Sigh.

If only me caring would make any difference.

'Cause the whole world seems to be looking after you and I'm like nobody, watching from a distance hoping that you're alright. I don't even dare to say anything to you first 'cause each time I try, it just does not turn out right. I've tried. I've really tried. It's just that no one sees it, no one notices it. You don't either. I'm just like a grain of sand in this hot summer of yours.

It's okay.

If only I could stop wasting the nights in sighs.
You're still important to me. VERY.

shzexian.

Christmas! :D ♥

2011-12-26T23:20:00.013+08:00

Christmas. To all the little kids out there, it's just about a fat guy in a red suit climbing down chimneys to give presents to little kids and having cookies with milk. To them, the decorations, food and presents were the most important things. Never did they understand the true meaning of it. To be honest, I only understood it last year. The year I actually felt the Christmas spirit in me. It's never too late for something, never. (:

Christmas is actually someone special's birthday. Happy Birthday Jesus. (:

I woke up real early on this fine day. Actually, my dad woke me up. Haha. Went out for breakfast and went to Jerning's house. (: And then off to SMK Confucian for the Christmas event. (: While I was waiting for Jerning's parents to get ready, Jer showed me the article in the newspaper about pmr. Mygoddd. Why reporters why? D: Eventhough I didn't get straight A's, I still ended up in the newspaper. Haha. Actually, those reporters took loads of pictures of me that day. Issh. Haha. Andddd. I can actually see Voonhao's hand there. He was trying to help me block the camera's then. Heh. Thanks buddy. (:

Anyway, when everyone was ready, we headed off. (: In the car, me and Jerning were like giving Zeyoung advice about his clothes. HAHA. Epic weih. :P Hmm. We reached SMK Confucian at about 10 something? kay, I forgot. haha. Went to the hall and saw Veeanna! :D Followed them to the front to put their instruments and so and then we walked about the hall. HAHA. And then we saw Siyong! anddddd Jiewei! :D Talk talk talk and fool around, like usual. :D Took some photos too. :P Then afterthat while I was sitting listening to them practice, I saw Ruizhe! haha. He like stunned for awhile. :P

The event started at around 12.30pm. Sat with Anna infront of Seeling, Adeline, Carol, Seemin, Yanlin and Gakyt. Haha. And then suddenly Wayne and Lawrence appeared. :P Lawrence's hairstyle was really, erm, weird. LOL. Anna asked and he said he had a bad hair day. Water didn't do the trick so he used gel. Haha. Funny lah weih. :P Anyway, sing songs like the usual. And then some guy talked. >< Sorry lah. I really don't know who he is. :/ and then performances. (:

乐器表演 :D
Jerning and Phebe playing the cello.
Siyong and Edgar playing the violin.
Sorry but I don't know the guy who played the erhu. :/
Veeanna and Philia playing the pipa.
Great performance anyway!
Niceeeeeeeeeeee. (Y) :D

Jiewei sang solo too. (:
It was awesomeeeee. :D There was another female soloist too. That one soprano weih. Mygoshh. Stunned for a very long time. :P Wayne and Lawrence memang bad. They were laughing. -.-

Hmmmmmmm. Carol, Adeline, Wayne and Lawrence went off right after that. I said byeeeeee. HAHAH. And then Wayne and Lawrence bullied me. D: Shoooo badddddd. Rawr! :P LOL. After the performances was tangyihui. Phebe like kinda explained it to me. LOL. It's like voting. yeahh, voting. :P Texted ruizhe and told him I wanna take a pic with him. Mana tau he asked me to photoshop a pic of me and him together then can ady. So bad. Grrrrr. Took pictures with some people too. But very little compared to the other times. Haha. Was more of talking and laughing. :P Thennn, I met 其升老师! haha. Talkkkkkkked. Must remember to smile differently next time kay! :D Shenwen talked to me too and kept on patting my head ._. hahahha. :P

Tangyihui ended at about 4 something I think. And then we just took more photos, talked more and waited to go back. HAHA. After 4.30, everyone went back dy. The hall was so empty, the chairs were all placed back to it's original state, the PA's were keeping up their mics and all. It seemed quiet. mmmm. Jerning's mom was talking to her piano teacher, and so we just hung around, talking. Haha. Talk about this and that, comparing their school hall with ours. :D

Finally time to go! (:

But the adults decided to go and yamcha. And cause I tumpang Jerning's car, I had to follow too. Paiseh sangat weih. ._. We went to erm, Royal Selangor Club to eat food. haha. Good thing though. Jerning was hungry cause we didn't eat lunch. :P Hmmm. Weizhe, Kangyu and Jerning's parents, me, Jerning, Zeyoung, Jieying Weizhe, Kangyu's younger bro and sis were there. :D After we finished stuffing our faces with food, we were well, BORED. :P Jerning 心血来潮 and asked Jieying to put on makeup for her. Omgggggg. It was epic. :P Jerning like didn't know any of those make up stuff and kept on asking Jieying. Haha, we were like laughing non-stop. x) Jieying was sick though, GET WELL SOOOOOOOON! :D Zeyoung took pics of Jerning with makeup on but i doubt that he'll upload them. HAHA. :P

We left at around 5. I went back to Jerning's house and my dad fetched me from there. :D Balikkkkk rumahhhhhhh. :D

Now, Photosssssss! (:

Hi Jerning Hi! :D
Is it me or is my eyes getting smaller and smaller? D:
rawr ._.

Si Yong! :D
A really nice guy eh! (: Studying maths tim. mygodddddd ._.

Jerning and Jiewei! :D

Jiewei! (:
He's wearing the same clothes as last years performance!
Haha. :P

Veeanna! :D

c(:

PEACEEEEEEEEE (:

Si Yong and Charlene. (:
Actually, I've met her last year.
A very scary first impression. heh. :P

Si Yong and his friend. :P
Haha. I dont know his name but I've seen him last year too!
He lead the singing part throughout the event though. (:

Howard and Jerning. (:
They look alike right?
Teo family. HAHA. ;P

Phebeeeeee. (:

Xue Ying. (:

Yan Yi! :D

Yan Lin! (:

其升老师 (:

See Min! (:

The performers. :D
From the left; The conductor, Veeanna, Si Yong, Phebe, Philia, The erhu guy :P, Jer Ning and Edgar! (:

Christmas pressie! :D ♥
Toblerone from Si Yong and Cookies from Veeanna. (:
Arigato gazaimasu. (:

Had a really AWESOMEEEE Christmas this year. (: Although it wasn't the actual plan. But still, it was awesomeeeeeee ttm! :D Another memory made with people from camp and yuexiang too. (: ♥ Great to see the people there, great to feel the christmas feeling. (:
Feliz Navidad! ba-da-ba-ba-ba ~ (:

: The human mind takes pictures of things in life turning them into memories that will stay, for now, and maybe until forever. You can never ask for memories, you make them. (:

Just like what I posted in twitter,

#BestMemoryin2011
iBelieve Camp! :D ♥ and celebrating Christmas with them. (:

♥ (:

You can't always have what you want, but be happy for what you get. (:
Time to move on.
Daiki, Genki desuka? (:

shzexian.

iBelieve camp reunion! (:

2011-12-18T21:15:00.022+08:00

HELLO! :D
Finally the day I've been counting down to is here!
CAMP REUNIONNNNNNN! (:

Jerning fetched me from school to the Old Klang Road church at 11 something. I waited at school for like 1 our plus. No choice lah. HAHAHA. Was so sien sitting at the bus stop. But at least waisen and zijun teman-ed me. (: Nice friends. HAHAHA! :D

So, we reached and waited outside with the others. See Min went " 小欧! " when she saw me. So did Veeanna and the others. mygoshhh. Haha. New name dy. :P Thennnn, I talked to Suet Yan, Veeanna and some others. 其升老师 and 雅梅老师 too. (: Talk talk talk and said HI to people. :P Omggggg. Jie Ying and Adeline saw me and thought I was Kah Yan. o.o We don't look alike lah yorrrrrrr. HAHA.

The reunion started at around 1 something? I didn't look at the time. :P Lee Tat asked us to countdown following the numbers on the screen. mana tau all of us were slow by half a beat. x) cacatnya. :P At least we caught up in the end. :P He then introduced our camp leader and asst. camp leader. They like kinda jumped out from the back of the table? x) Was a little o.o HAHA. :D We started off with our group cheer! 'Cause not everyone from the camp came and there were others that didn't make it during the camp, our group had different people. :D My group had me, Jer Ning, Yan Lin, See Ling, Philia, Jia Hui and her sister, Wei Zhe and Louis. Then, GAMES! Hitting balloons was the first.

This game banyak epic owhh. The balloons keep bursting too. :P Jerusalem won btw. (: After balloons, HUMAN CHAIN. :)

HAHAHA. Look at Jiewei. :P Anyway, I don't know what the next game is called but it's really chi gek. :P Running around and constantly getting little heart attacks. :D Poor Lee Tat was like being bullied by us haha. It's like everybody aimed for him. :P Kesian kesian. x) Afterthat, we sang songs. :D One of them was 主，我相信! Camp theme song! :D and also We wish you a merry christmas! (:

Yeahh, this happened when we were singing. (: Lead by Lee Tat and Lawrence, if not mistaken. :D Afterthat, they gave out presents to 新朋友. Haha.

I can see my name ontop. :D Wheeeeee. Love it to the max! :D ♥

LUNCH TIME! (: We had McD, KFC, Mini oranges, and Meehoon. :D After lunch, MORE games! This time, it's station games. Our frist station was to spin 10 circles and take the ball from one side to the other. HAHA. Lawrence memang bad. Keep pushing me lower and lower. ._. And then I couldnt stand properly and almost hit a car. LOL. I kept grabbing onto his arms. Hahaha. Epicnya. ._. He kept on laughing somemore. grrrrrrr. ._. Anyway, next station was making pictures with beans. I got 4 out of 5! wheeeeee. :D Then, answer questions while a ballooon is being pumped by Lawrence. And the balloon was in between me and Yan Lin. HAHA. I think we used 3 balloons. :P Thennn, we had to tie 50 rubber bands on Philia and Jer Ning's hair with lemons in our mouth. wanna seeeee da picture? (:

Thenn, Spider web. (: And then sing songs using the keywords just like camp. :D That station was the last station for us. So after that, we gathered inside to view all the photos that were taken during camp. :D Omggg. I didn't know that I kena candid so many shots. Talking on the phone also got. LOL. >< Imba lah, seriously. Anyway, the more epic, the more special the memory is. :D It was about 5 when we finished viewing the photos. So fast end dy. ): So we went outside to eat cookies that Jie Ying made. NICE! (: And then took pictures with alot of people. :D

Jer and Suet Yan. Forever fighting lah these two. Haihyor. :P

Ga Kyt. (: He was surprised that I knew his name. -.-

Wei Zhe.
I didn't know that he knew Wenfang. Got a heart attack when I knew. mygoddd. This world is just so small. :O

Sam Tan! (:
Best female camper and best male camper here! :D
Haha.

Suet Yan and Jie Wei. (:

Owhhh. I met Shen Wen there! and she forgot my name and said that I was from chui guan. ): So badddd. rawr.

Kah Yan. :D
My jie jie (?) HAHAHA. :P

See Min! (:

Jie Ying! (:

Philiaaaaaaaa :D

Franky! :P
Happy Meal fanatic. LOL.

Veeanna. (:

Suet Yan! (:

Lawrence and Jie Wei. AHAHA.
I don't know what they were doing. ._.

Jie Wei. :D

Adeline. (:

迪伟老师. (:
大小欧! Hahaha. :D

Xue Ying! (:
She remembers me weih. :D

Wayne (:

Lawrence. (:
LOL. He said that he read my previous blog post and looked at his mirror wondering why I said that he looks like a rockstar. :P

Phebe! :DDD
Long time no see. Heh. She was shocked to see me there. haha. :P

Yan Yi. :D

See Ling. (:

Yan Lin. (:
So fast she miss me dy! Haha. (:

Nahhhh.
CLOSE UP! :D

其升老师! (:

BWAHAHA.
Teo! (:

Lee Tat. :P

Carol. (:

It took me ages to upload all the photos. HAHA. Anyway, I had a great time. It was so great to be able to see everyone there. :D You know, the world seems a much better place each time I'm with them. so weird ._. But, I guess it's a good thing. :D I seriously have no idea when I'm going to see them again though. haihh. Hopefully soon. (:

Having a memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are and the things you never want to lose. We do not remember days, we remember moments. (:

Till we meet again,
♥
shzexian

Shea's house! :D

2011-12-17T23:04:00.003+08:00

::::

Yesterday was FRIDAYYYYYY! :D
And I went to Shea's house with yenting, joeyee and zijun. Go there to erm like play? LOL. Sleepover lah actually. HAHA.

I went to yenting's house at like 8.30 in the morning. Then her mom fetched us to shea's house. Reached there and went up to shea's room. omgggggg. NICE! A good place to be emo. Like seriously. It's like you can see the whole night sky in his room. At night lah of course. :P Went in and saw both joeyee and zijun were watching Russell Peter's stand up comedy. Laugh laugh laugh. :P

Then afterthat, they started to hack each others facebook accounts. -.- This group of people memang free dao. LOL. Hack dy nevermind. That baka Zijun ahh. Took my phone and sent some stupid message to daiki. eff lah. He seriously just ruined my life when he hit the send button. I seriously was shaking when I tried to explain to daiki. But he did not reply. damn you zijun, damn you. -.- If anything happens and he starts to ignore me, I am so gonna kill you. Baka ne, inoshishi des.

Then we played poker. LOL. while joeyee chao tetris. -.- why so lifeless? D: He kept on winning anyway. Play play play, talk talk talk. LUNCH! Shea's mom cooked Nasi Lemak. (Y) Nice! (: While we were eating shea's dog came in. Well, his dog is a St. Bernard. Those really really REALLY big sized dogs. o.o And it came running in. fuyohhh. Got scared a little, but afterthat nothing lah. Btw, his dog is called PANDA. :D woahh. Joeyee, omggggggg, he like kinda had a panic attack of some sort. Hiding away from the dog, panicking. kesian him lah. He was chased by a dog before when he was young so now he has like a phobia? :/ Poor guy. Anyway, after lunch, continueeeeeeee.

Went back up, yenting wanted a nap. HAHAHA. So cute. :P Let her sleep loh. Shea played Worms with Joeyee on his tablet. Zijun and I were reading books. LOL 45 minutes passed and yenting woke up. :P Continued playing poker. This time we used monopoly money! x) You know got 50000 de. :P Play play play. mygodddd. Almost 6 dy. Sooooooooo, Shea took us out for a walk around Taman Tun. :D Well actually, Joeyee and Zijun took turns riding shea's mountain bike. :P Shea was telling us stories about this house and that house. Story about it's owner and so. We talked about cars, houses and DOGS. :D Hehe. We were like looking at the dogs in each house. And one of them had a chowchow inside! That dog is seriously soft and fluffy but really fat and lazy. :P It was even lazy to just stand up and bark at us. LOL It barked lying down. -.- We also saw a really cute beagle. :D Kayy, you seriously dont know how much I love dogs. :P

After walking, we went back to shea's house and like chat in his room. (: Started with me, yenting and zijun. then shea came and joeyee came. Haha. We all talked about random stuff though. :P Suddenlyyyyyyyyyyy, A really abnormal sized coackroach flew in from i dont know where. LOL. We all freaked out. :P Even the 3 boys were so afraid. -.- We straight away ran downstairs to eat dinner. And when we came back up, nobody noticed it till I saw it on the wall. o.o Let me tell you something, zijun memang FAIL. He couldn't even hit it properly and we didn't know where it went. -.- So we tried searching and didn't care after awhile.

I stood leaning on the table talking to them and suddenly I saw this thing run below my legs. Damn that stupid cockroach. Nobody move tim. All of us were stunned. And zijun, as usual, the first one to run away and hide. C'mon lah! -.- Anyway, in the end I killed it. :P HAHAHA. It's not a good thing though. :/ Two scouts and a boy. Haihyor. :P Well, problem solved anyway. (: Continued chatting and playing and stalking. And went back to yenting's house at 10pm.

Wash up and got ready for bed but it was only 11 something. Talked for awhile and fell asleep. (: Woke up the next morning, neck pain. LOL. Cause I slept on the floor. :P Anway went off at 9 something and took a bus + a taxi to school. So stupid. -.- We missed the stop and had to stop at Midvalley to go back to school. HAHA. epicccc. So many times taking the bus, first time didn't get off the correct stop. :P There's always a first for everything right? HAHA.

Reached Jalan Gasing and had breakfast with yenting. (: She left at 10 though 'cause she had to go caroling. Anddd Waisen and Zijun teman-ed me to wait for Jerning to come and fetch me to CAMP REUNION! :D

I SHALL UPDATE ABOUT CAMP REUNION AFTER I UPLOAD THE PHOTOS! :D
HAHAHA. (:

我一直在假装不在乎，但其实内心不停地在掉泪
shzexian.

The shortest distance.

2011-12-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

She was standing in the middle of the crowd, staring out onto the field. It wasn't just anybody she was looking at. It was him, the quarterback of the team, the playmaker. Everyone else in the crowd was cheering him on, chanting his name, hoping that he will make a homerun and lead his team to victory. She thought that she could handle all this. She thought that she was strong enough. But it seems that she was wrong. As tears welled up in her eyes, she left her sit and made her way off the stand to somewhere she could be alone. Her mind was flooded with memories of the both of them. Something so sweet yet stings like venom.

She used to believe in forever's and once upon a time's.

But too bad, life proved her wrong.

::::

My blog has been dead for like a week? :/ It's not that nothing happened. It's just that so much happened and I don't know what to say. Feeling so MAD, yet I just tolerate with it. Trying to keep this matter as simple as possible. Always giving in, I think I'm being too nice till people think that its okay to bully me. well, go away would ya? -.-Feeling so SAD, yet I just hold back those tears and walk away. Just shaking away all those useless stuff and stop wasting my days in sighs.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Will update more later.

Till then.

I knew it all along.

shzexian.

Boreeeeeeeeeeed.

2011-12-06T22:00:00.002+08:00

11 days to go! (:

其升老师 and Franky kinda popped up in facebook today. Haha.
They wanted to chat. well. why not? (:
Actually I was crapping all the way with Franky. :P
He's a nice guy kay. Always 热闹 here and there. (:
And he's like gay-ing with Kenneth while Jiewei just turned into a girl? LOL.
And they are now currently spamming in the facebook group chatbox.
Good entertainment. (Y)
Especially when Franky and Ga-Kyt fight.
HAH. Cuteee people. x)

::::

):
So many people feeling down lately. I wonder what's happening to this world. D: It's getting sadder and sadder by the minute. It's like all its laughter is lost. vanished straight into thin air. Seriously, if you were to ask me how I'm feeling. It ain't gonna be a positive answer.

Hmmmmmmm. I need to find answers to my questions. And for now. I seriously dont know what I'm talking about. Feeling down yet dont know what I'm being sad about. Feeling stressed yet not caring about it. ohmygodddddddd. Holidays make me stupid. And when I finally got someone to talk to. uhh. nothing comes out.

MEMANG AWESOME (Y) -.-

Kay. I got nothing to say dy.
I'm just BORED.
D:

Dear you, welcome back.
shzexian.

Smile through the tears. (:

2011-12-02T20:22:00.003+08:00

Galilee! :D
Our group flag.
LOVEEEEEE THIS PHOTO TO THE MAX! ♥
Credits to Kenneth Tung. (:

My group members. (:
Finally got the pic from facebook.

HAHA.

::::

Seriously, seriously.
How I wish I was still at camppppppppp.
Kinda missing it now. D: I'm sure jerning knows exactly what I mean. HAHAHA.
Andddddd guess what? :P
I've got all the songs stuck in my head. It's like I'm doing something and suddenly 每个人内心深处都渴望自由pops up. LOL. Imbanya. :P Kept singing this song over and over again with jerning today. Haha. sampat betul. But whatttt. Awesome memories with awesome people leave awesome marks in my awesome mind. :D Awesomeeeeeeee right. HEH.

I sure do miss the feelings I felt during the camp. :/

::::

Pmo's practical and theory exam starts next next week. So much to do yet I seriously don't feel like doing. This is what I call being lazy. I've been staying up late and not studying what I'm supposed to just to arrange this list and that. Solve junior's exam problems and so. Nowww. I seriously understand how the ex-考试筹委 felt. This is frustrating. -.-

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Haihh.

亲爱朋友，你是否曾经
曾经观看满天的星星
期待有人能够了解你心
能够爱你赐你力量更新 (:

shzexian.

iBelieve camp! :D

2011-11-29T20:32:00.006+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE!
I'm back from camp! (:
And it was awesomeeeeeeeee!
Miss me? :P

Nowwwwwww.
I'm gonna update about the camp! :D

26th of November, Saturday.

Went to school in the morning to settle guanmohui stuff. And also talk to menghui and ahtiong a little. plus maybe see his smile for the last time before I go for camp. :P Went there really early. Sms-ed with Meng Hui since I woke up till i reached school. HAHA. :P After gaodim this and that. Went off at 10am. Guess what? I saw his smile. (: heh. Thennnnn. Went home to change clothes and take my luggage and off to the old klang road church to gather.

Since Jer Ning was the one that invited me there. I like only know Jer Ning? HAH. and of course some of those that I met during the performance last time like Philia, Veeanna, Jie Wei and some of Jer Ning's church friends. :D But still, it feels kinda awkward. So, Jer Ning like called Philia to take care of me cause she wasnt going on the first day. :/ Good enough. :P HAHAHA. So when I reached, I called Philia. -.- Who knew, she was trying to prank me. She said that she didnt know me and I called the wrong number and stuff. Isshh. I panicked for awhile, that is until I heard Veeanna laughing in the background. :P They reached after 5 minutes anyway. :D So went to register and so. Then I talked to Philia, Veeanna and Suet Yan. :D haha. After awhile I saw JIEWEI :D and his mom too. :D His mom came and shake hands with me. (: She was the teacher for our Christmas performance last year. :D

We went up the bus around 1.30pm and off we started our journey. On the way, me and Philia were like torturing Veeanna's stuffed rabit while Jie Wei kept on laughing at us. haha. He was sitting at the back of us and kept scaring me. -.- We stopped at McD for lunch. :D While I was waiting in line with Philia suddenly some guy came up to me to shake hands and say Hi. AHAHA. I was totally scared. :P It was Lawrence, asst. camp leader. :D Then went to eat and continued our journey. It took us 4 hours plus to reach Malacca! btw, that's where our campsite is. EL Sanctuary, Malacca. (: Actually, it took us 4 hours cause the bus driver took another route.

When we reached there, we were all like O.O cause we only saw those kampung houses. And everyone was like 'It's so different from the brochure!' haha. We then only know that we had to walk from there. :P When we reached our campsite. fuyohhhh. Not bad weih. (: Went into the hall. We got our tags, books and knew what are our groups and dorms. :D

Then, we started off with getting to know each other, slogan and flag. :D My group was Galilee 加利利. (: Group members are Adeline, Jie Ying, Philia, Jer Ning, Kin Wah, En Fung, Yin Chuen, Louis, Wei Zhe, Jia Hui and Pei Xin. (: After all the ice breaking, we went back to our dorms to settle down. :D I was in the same dorm with Jie Ying, Adeline, Philia, Jer Ning, Cynthia and i think the other one is Pei Ling? (:

From the left. Pei Ling, Cynthia and me. :D

After settling down, we went for dinner. Ohmygoddddd. The food there is like so AWESOME. HAHA! :D Afterthat, we had iTune macro. :D It's actually singing and all. (: Led by Lawrence and Lee Tat. Then we had an iBelive talk by 刘凤英传道. Then, iClue. :P We had to go and search for 精句's in the middle of the night two by two and we will get stopped by so called police's. We have to also go and write them on mahjong paper in the hall with only light from the torch light. :D I kept on getting caught by Eddie 老师 and Lee Tat. ): Adeline and Lawrence caught me and Philia too. LOL. Then when Lawrence caught me, he said, 'why don't you run?' HAHA. No point of running, you'll catch me in the end anyway. :P

After iClue, we went to the canteen to eat Supper. We had cup noodles and biscuits plus your choice of Milo or Coffee. (: I drank a cup of Milo. :D heh. Me and Philia helped 其升老师&迪纬老师make their Milo too. (: and then we sat down and talked. :P Both 其升老师&迪纬老师 were like so funny. :P And called me 小欧cause 迪纬老师's surname is also 欧. HAHA. So cuteee lah. :P Another new nickname tough. Haha. Specially just for them. x) After we were done with supper, me and Philia went back to shower and sleeeeeep. :D

27th of November, Sunday.

Woke up at 6.30am, shivering. It was sooooo cold. D: And when I woke up, Jie Ying and Adeline were like already ready. AHAHA. I guess they have to wake up extra early to prepare. :D So, bangun pagi, gosok gigi, cuci muka, pakai baju. HEHE. :P

At 7.30am we went into the hall for 小组查经. I dont really know how to explain this tough. D: Erm. Jie Ying and Adeline asked us questions and we answered. haha. Yeahh. Like that. :P At 8am we had iXercise. :P We warmed up first and started dancing? HAHAH. Jie Ying taught us how. It was so EPIC. :P The way she looked at us all laughy-like but trying to be fierce and saying '摇!' was so funny. hahahahah. x) After exercising, breakfast time! (: seriously, I've never seen such nice breakfast before. :P It's like porridge + pancakes with banana sauce + pizza bread. woahhhh.

After breakfast, it was iTune macro. (: This time it was led by Wei Wen and Kah Yan. :D Then iBelieve talk 2.0 by 刘凤英传道. (: Let's just say that this is where the suffering begins. Had a really bad stomachache. You know, like stomach masuk angin. Can feel the wind inside. Really suffering. Endured it till after the talk and Philia asked me to go look for 雅梅老师 cause she was incharged of first aid. (: Applied 风油 and ate a bottle of errrr I dont know what medicine. :P After taking the group photo, it was iLearn. True or False game. Heh. (: Sad thing was I didn't play with them. Too pain dy. ): Sat aside and rest. :/ I have to admit, it was really torturing. D: during lunch time, I went back to the dorm to rest and Philia accompanied me. (: She helped me like massage my stomach? HAHAHA. And it got a little better. (: Thankyou Philia. :D Thankyou to 雅梅老师&迪纬老师 too. (: After lunch, Philia went back down for the iRace. Cause she was the group leader and she had to erm, LEAD! :D

Anyway, after resting for awhile, I joined them again. Went down and saw Lawrence, so I asked him if he knew where Philia was, and went to join them. 雅梅老师saw me and was like so shocked. haha. asked me whether I was really okay to continue or not. Hehe. No prob lahh. (: So I continued. :P Met Wayne on the way and he told me to walk slowly and take my time. AHAHA. (: Lawrence also told me not to play the game that needs to test the ingredients or it'll make my stomach ache even more. (: awwwwww. :P haha. Play till half way then Jer Ning came. :D And it started to rain. So, we played Jie Ying's station in the rain. (: Next was Wayne's station. It was like a physical test. :D Philia did pumping. Jer Ning did sit ups. Jia Hui and Pei Xin did star jumps. Kin Wah did frog walk, Loius carried Yin Chuen and spinned in circles, En Fung and Wei Zhe turned in circles and had to walk in a straight line. And well, I, did Frog jumps. :P Everybody had to do theirs 8 times. Like jump 8 times, pumping 8 times. Frog walk and frog jump plus the carry thing was to and fro 8 times. HAHAHA. It reminds me of the time when I frog jumped up the slope at the back gate in school. >< After finishing everything, went back to shower and get ready for dinner. :D

After dinner, it was iTune macro and iShow. AHAHHAA. NICE SHOWWWWW. :P Jie Ying as the main actress. haha. epicccc. :P Then, we had iRace part 2. (: This time we had to follow the colours of their shirts. :D It took us a really really LONG time to find Lee Tat. But we did in the end. heh (: At his station, Wei Zhe had to draw with his leg and Jia Hui had to draw with her mouth. :D They did great! We could guess it really fast. :D Next station was Kah Yan's. Bringing the basketball down and up the slope by surrounding it and not letting it fall out. We were kacau-ed by dogs throughout the game. They love basketballs. :P After this station, it was Adeline's station. We had to guess the pictures that were hanging on the wall. Neeeeeeeeext was Lawrence's station, singing! :D I think we had the most fun here. :P And it was the game that we all could feel that we were A TEAM. (:

After it all ended, we went to the canteen for supper and to bond. :D 其升老师 was with our group. Asking us questions and making us talk. :D We had fun. ahaha. Hearing funny answers and teasing each other. (: After supper, we went to gather at the hall and off to the field we go. To play with water. HAHAHA. First, we had to protect a paper that has our group names printed on it. We had to keep it dry while the 助导's were trying to get it wet. :P body power (Y) ! ahahaha. x) The second game was to protect our flag! Woahh. Everybody was so fierce. LOL. Anyway, alot of stuff happened. o.o Like a real war. But we all helped each other out in the end. (:

It was 12.30 when we finished the game. So we went back to bath and then accompanied Jer Ning and Philia to practice their songs for the next day. (: I sat infront of the stage and watched them practice. Lawrence came and talk to me. He asked me if I was okay and if I enjoyed myself so far. Well, of course I did. (: He had a sorethroat though. D: Get well soon kay (: I helped Jer Ning record their practice afterthat. (: Omggggggg. I really like Jie Wei's voice. So warm and nice. AHAHAHA. :D We went back to our dorms at like 2am? and sat outside to talk cause our roommates were sleeping. :P Suddenly, a black dog came out. o.o and climbed up the table. O.O We quickly grabbed our things and went in. HAHA. I saw the dog sleep on the table through the window. lol. 2 something am. We all feel asleep. :P

28th of November, Monday.

The last day of camp. D:
Woke up quite early. :P Brush teeth. wash face. take bath. and start packing up. (: After packing up, went to the hall for 小组查经. And afterthat, breakfast. :D Then, it was iTune macro. Led by Philia, Jer Ning and Jie Wei. :D It's the first time I really sang out loud togther. Plus the moves. (: omggg. enjoy sangat. :P And now, like seriously, the song is stuck in my head. and im humming along to the songs wherever I go. LOL. :P

iBelieve 3.0 by 刘凤英传道. (: This time the talk was a little short and she showed us a video clip. Omg. Really like I dont know whether its gandong or shocked or wow-ed. But I know I was totally speechless staring at the screen. :/ The passion of the christ. After iBelieve 3.0, we all sat down and talked. This time it was 迪纬老师 that led us. So we talked and talked and talked. After we were done, Philia was asked to collect all our group member's facebook accounts. I went to wash my face. haha. was really tired. >< Then, I sat infront alone staring at the video clip which replayed again and again. And then 迪纬老师 came and talk to me. (: He then needed to go do his stuff. so i went to look for Philia but then Jer Ning asked me to go take a picture with Eddie老师. (: HAHA. Then Jie Ying showed me how Jer Ning kind of tortured her little duck soft toy. :P

Next was iEnd! (: We all sat down on the floor and it was Sharing time. Each group had to choose 2 people to go up and share what they feel about this camp. I was one of them. >< It's like, you can't say no right. :P btw, my group had 3! :D So I went up, talk talk talk, seriously I really felt like crying. ): I really enjoyed my time here. Everyone's so friendly. And they really care for you. I like thanked everyone. haha. :P 其升老师 was so bad. D: He shouted 小欧 when I finished talking. LOL. And then Lee Tat called me that too. and then poeple started calling me that, LOL. o.o Sharing ended and it was result anouncing + price giving time! :D 3rd was Canaan 迦南, We came in 2nd! :D And 1st was Jerusalem耶路撒冷! Grats to Jie Wei cause he was the group leader! :D Then, They announced the best male and best female camper. :D Best male camper was SAM TAN. :D A really hyper guy. AHAHA. Always all smiley like. :P And the best female camper was ME! :D You know what, I really could not believe it. o.o It's like I never get awards like this. :/ I was really really happy. :D Happy till I went speechless. D:

After the results :P Lunch time! :D While waiting in line, i snapped some photos with Jer Ning's camera. haha. Thankyou lah Jer. I know you banyak NICE de. :D Eat eat eat. Went back to dorm to finish packing up and off to the hall to gather up and load the bus to go home. 'Cause we reached the hall quite early, continue snapping pictures. x) Afterthat, we went up the bus and started our journey back home. I slept for like one hour plus on the bus. HAHA. Too tired. :P

Now, PHOTOS. :D
Thanks to Jer Ning. (:

Philia, me and 雅梅老师. :D

Wayne Liew.
He's the 营长. (:
Seee. He's so tall o.o
He's a really nice guy and caring too. :P
Always asking me how I'm doing and he still remembers me from last years Christmas performance. :D Yay (Y) !

Philia Chua! (: ♥
Thankyou soooooo much for everything!
Love you ttm! :D

Kah Yan. :D
Philia kept saying that we both look like.
Do we? o.o
Haha. But ever since then she started to call me mei mei. (:
HAHA. :P

Carol Phua (:
She still remembers me from last year's Christmas performance! :P

迪纬老师 (:
Yessssss. We have the same surname! :D
其升老师&迪纬老师 came up with the nickname. AHAHA
weird much. :P

Bear bear (: ♥
龚杰尉.
A really friendly guy. :D
Always making faces at me. x)
And I love his voiceeeeeeeee. :D

Lawrence Lau (:
副营长.
Heh. Really caring person. andddddddddd
He looks like a rockstar. :P

Awwwwwww. Too bad I couldn't take pictures with everyone. D:

I seriously have learned alot from this camp. I've never met such friendly people at all. They just come up to you and say Hi and then from then on we're like good friends. (: People touch lifes, and they have touched mine. Awesome people leaves me with awesome memories. The best camp I've ever been to! :D Thanks to all the teachers for all the care, Wayne, Lawrence and all the other 助导's for the awesome camp and everyone that has left their foot prints right here in my mind. (: If I had a star for each time you guys made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in my hands. (: ♥

I believe.
我相信. (:

Thanks for all the smiles. (:
shzexian.

zerofivetwonine.

2011-11-24T23:54:00.006+08:00

Pandaaaaaaa.
So cute.
Souvenir from sheazheng, (:
the cute cute tomatooooooo.
HAHA.

::::

Started the day in not a really good mood. :/ It seems that my aircond was leaking throughout the night. When I woke up this morning, the whole floor was like wet. And I mean WET. All my books wet, bags wet, basketball also wet. o.o yeahh. dont ask me why i have a basketball in my room. anyway, was seriously ._. already. Told my dad, he said that he'll ask someone to service it. Well, guess what now, it's freezing in here. LOL. :/

Went to tuition today, accounts again. Different place lahh, at TTC. I feel so like, i dont know what to say. So early start studying this and that. People keep saying like so kiasu. D: Everyday kena zat. AHHH. WHATEVER LAHH. -.- And if i can't get good results for my first term exam, it's like im such a failure. D: Haihhhh. I'm still worried about pmr though. I don't think I'll be able to get straight A's. Damnnnnnnnnnnn. ):
Worries. Worries.

Tuition today was okay. At least i could understand. haha. stupiddd zijun came today and said that he did not see yenting and my messages and phone calls. -.- godai. He sat next to me during tuition anyway. KACAU DAO. omgggg. Keep saying daiki daiki. pleaseeee lahh. im sad enough kay. ): But there were really little people at tuition today. So the teacher was like focusing on us. HAHA. :P

After tuition, went to one u with yenting and met up with junkeat. Went to buy movie tickets. naxienian again. LOL. And Breaking Dawn. woots! :D After we bought the tickets, went to Chatime. (: While we were there, yenting got a tweet from sheazheng and he said he was coming. LOL. Went back to buy a ticket for him. :P Sadly, naxienian was packed with people. So we couldn't sit together with him. D: Poor tomatooooo. hehe. But at least he was in the same row with us, just 6 seats away. (: This time, while I was watching Naxienian, the feeling was all different. and i dont know why. hmmmm. me and my stupid mind. :/

After the movie, we went to Sushi Zanmai. Actually, to watch the guys eat. heh. I didn't eat. No appetite. :/ Sheazheng! omgggggg. Cute dao. haha. The way he talks. Really amusing and he talks like a big boss. I guess it runs in the family cause his bro, sheashin is also like that. :P Me and yenting were like looking through his photos that he took in Europe and China. :D Btw, he just came back from Europe yesterday, yenting too, just back from shanghai. (: You know, actually, I don't really know sheazheng. It's like we both know the existance of each other but we don't talk. :P well, made friends today. :D He gave a souvenir he bought from china too. The cute panda on top. :P Now it's hanging on my phone. yay. (: Thankyouuuuuuu sheazheng. :D

After eating, walk here and there then sheazheng went home. Then, me, yenting and junkeat went to starbucks to sit and talk. HAHA. Cause breaking dawn was at 6.10pm. Kay lohhhh. Talked till 6.20pm. shyt. o.o We talked for like one hour plus. Quickly walked to the cinema. At least we only missed the commercials and like 5 minutes of the movie? Anywayy, Breaking dawn was AWESOMEEEEEE. :D LIKE TO THE MAX! But they cut some important scenes. haihh. nevermind. (: Afterthat, went to popular. haha. Accompanied yenting to buy reference books. (: then, i went back to yenting's house.

We sat at the basketball court in the park outside her house. Talking about stuff like form one memories and stupiddddd complications in life. HAHA. We were so cuteeeeee back then. LOL. According to yenting. x) Pluss the nicknames we gave to people back then like, teddy, bear bear, bunny, forest, fish, icecream. HAHAHAHA. Memories (:

I went back around 10pm. :D

Awesome day. Haha. (:

::::

damn.

Sometimes, all I need is someone to keep me company.
Sometimes, all I need is someone to hug.
Only thinking about what I need.
That's just being too selfish.
Hmmm.

I trust you.
The only person I've ever trust this much.
shzexian.

HEHEEE.

2011-11-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

:::

Seeeeeee!
I cut short my fringe dyyyyy!
Finally got nothing poking into my eyes. :P

o.o
I left my blog dead for one week. D:
FAIL ttm. :P
anyway, now im back.
to like erm.
keep it alive again?
HAHA.
No lahh.
Just that these days got nothing much to talk about. :/
so boreddddd. rawrrrrrr ._.

::::

Yenting went to Shanghai last thursday and she's coming back on wednesday! YAY! :D Finally no rotting alone at tuition. :D But i'm still alone tomorrow. D: Shyyt. Me no likeyy. :/ Anyway, Zijun better have a good explanation for why he has not been replying my messages. -.- Yenting said that he's too busy flirting. AHAHA. -.-

Guanmohui officially started last Friday. It went okay except the fact that on saturday we ran out of paper. Ahhhhh. Stupid me. >< Anyway, never gonna be a second time. (: We learn somehow. So now I have all the marks in a box beside me. And I dont feel like touching them. o.o Sien. HAHA. will sort them out tomorrow. (:

AHHHH. TUITION. D: rawrrrrrrrrrr.
I've been staring at this physics reference book and homework questions for like 2 hours? and I get nothing. AHAHAHAH. In the end I turn back to the comp. :P I'll just go and die tomorrow. Owh well. Nothing I can do. Somemore need to memorise so much stuff. D: I don't wanna go to form 4. :/ Haih. You don't always get what you want, little girl. ._.

woots!
MALAYSIA WON THE FOOTBAL MATCH! (Y) :D
Congrats Tigers (:

ERM.
nothing much to say actually.

Sometimes it's just like, err, whatever.
shzexiann.

Busy dayy.

2011-11-14T23:42:00.008+08:00

Went back to CHEN MOH today. (:
For Cikgu Lee's retirement.
Everything has changed.
From the school building to the teachers to even the school guards.
Doesn't feel familiar anymore. D:

BUTTTT.
Memories were still bursting in my mind when I stepped into the school.
Sweet sweet memories. :D

This is Cikgu Lee. :D
The best BM teacher I've ever met. ((:
She may be very very VERY fierce.
But heyy, she's nice too. :P
Lovesss <3

Well, actually I took a picture with her.
But the photo sangat cacat.
Owh well. :/

.
.
.

I reached chen moh at 8am
and guess who I saw?

TA-DA
mr. chewruizheeeeeeeeeeee.
HAHA. :P

of course, when you meet someone like him.
take pictureeeee. :P

Kek-sui look. :P
Anyway, we were both shocked to see each other and he went like.
Har? 你是精武的啊? LOL.
Then after that talk talk har. he said.
Yeahh I think I've seen you before.
I remember your SMALL EYES.
-.- What's with people and small eyes huh?
:P

:DD
I saw Mrs. Chin there too.
She remembered me! YAY! (:
My awesomeeeee English teacher. :D
btw, she has already been transfered to teach at Yuk Chai.

Well, since we're talking about languages here.
We must not forget luolaoshi.
A great chinese teacher (:
a really really really really fierce teacher.
She's was also my class teacher during Standard 6.
:D
and according to mingyee,
the first thing luolaoshi asked her when she saw her was.
那个欧诗贤怎样了?
HAHAHA.
Syok die die. :P

After talking with teachersssssssssss. We walked around the school. And by we I mean me, kweeyew, joning, mingyee, saujun. Ruizhe went to look for his friends that time. Anyway, we were walking up and down the new block and the old block. Thinking about the past and sharing our stories. LOL. NICEEEEEEEEEEEE. (: The most epic thing that we came up with was, we found out that we walked from A block to C block and its still a shorter distance compared to Chs's front gate to pmo hall. AHAHAHAHA. :PPP

I gave cikgu lee a handmade scrapbook. :D
It looks okay overall but my handwriting sangat CACAT.
I hope she likes it though. (:

AFTER CHENMOH,
I went back to CHS to help Puan Salmiah print Form 5's certs.
LOL. She really likes to kacau me. AHAHAHAHA.
I seriously mean it. :P
Anyway, Our school comps and printers were all taken and the one i could use ran out of ink. -.- So, I just finished typing and gave it to teacher.
DONE (Y) :D

AFTER CHS,
I went to sunway with a bunch of pmo people.
We watched 那些年，我们一起追的女孩.
Nice show. ((:
After that, balik rumahhhh.
Buat kerja rumahhhhh.
:PP

Now, let's plan this week out.
Tomorrow, Tuition from 10am-1pm and 4.30pm-6.30pm. Come back, continue doing pmo list and next days tuition homework.
Wednesday, Tuition from 10am-12am Afterthat, continue with pmo work and slack a little.
Thursday, Tuition in the afternoon I forgot what time. I think 1pm-3pm? sudah lupa. Anyway, afterthat prepare for next day's guanmohui!
Friday, GUANMOHUI DAYYY. My big day tooooo. Need to make sure it runs smoothly. :P And Lunch with MISS KKSL. :D
Saturday, GUANMOHUI part 2. x)

So much to doooooo.
Jiayouuuu shzexiannnnnn. (:

Good luck gor! Last paper dy! ((:
I'll pray for you tonight. :D

ohmigosh, My eyes really banyak kecik. HEH. :P

I love receiving surprise text messages. (:
辉♥(:
shzexiann.

Teary.

2011-11-13T23:15:00.005+08:00

::::

I hate the fact that I keep posting emo posts lately.
I just can't seem to lift up my mood.
I really really really REALLY hate saying goodbyes.

Now,
I'm just all filled up with wth's, wtf's and fml's.
HAIHHHHHH.
I wanna talk to somebody.
Maybe I should just use skype's sound test and talk to myself.
Hmmmmmm. :/

Can I like cry now? :/

NO.

(:

rawr means ily in dinosaur language. (:
rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
shzexiann.

A goodbye I dont wanna speak of.

2011-11-12T23:56:00.005+08:00

LOL.
I just found this on facebook. :P
I miss my old fringe. :/

Today wasn't a good day at all.

Firstly, Stupid sore throat. I couldn't talk at all. Really soft and keeps going off tune. Haihh. Plus today there was OD practice and i have to teach both form one and form two's because I was the only senior left there. Andd we had to practice downstairs where it was really really noisy cause the classes were locked for spm. I had to keep on straining my voice box to shout so that those juniors could hear me. efffff. After that, during ji he time. I had to give a briefing about the coming guan mo hui, which is next week. Voice strained part 2. Had erhu group meeting didn't talk much. Meeting till 1 then lunch with Katherine ksl! (: Went back and saw cheauyee sitting alone infront of the dewan practicing. So I taught her for awhile and had exam comittee meeting. Then, hezhou. And went home.

Secondly, I MISSED VOONHAO'S FAREWELL!
FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML.
I couldn't go just because I had pmo practice! wtf wtf.
I should have just skipped pmo.
You wanna know why?

'Cause there seemed to be a surprise that YENTING IS LEAVING TOO.
HUACK!
DAMN IT. WHY IS EVERYONE THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME LEAVING HUH? TELL ME WHY? WHYYYYYY? WAE? NANDESKA? D:
I got the news when I came home.
No point to regret now. Haihhhhhh.
Why life, why?
WHY? ):

You know what.
I just feel so lost right now.
:/

We 3 met each other about 2 years ago.
Here, in chs.
2 months after today,
it'll be Selangor, Singapore and Shanghai.
3 people in 3 different countries.
Doing 3 different things.

Somehow this feeling isn't new.
):
shzexiannn.

11.11.11 (:

2011-11-11T20:02:00.007+08:00

3A4 year 2011. (:

11.11.11
The last day.
The last day for so many things.
And also one of the busiest days I've been through this year.
Running around helping teachers to mark attendance, gather signatures, give out report cards and stuff, give out the school magazines, hunting teachers down for keys, lkt duty, meeting up with friends etc.
I seriously dont know how many times I ran up and down the stairs.
Good exercise. (Y)
Despite the stupid muscle ache I'm suffering from now. AHAHAHA. :P
well actually the muscle ache was from the stupid frog jump up and down the slope at the back gate. Walking up and down the stairs just made it worse.

LKT duty today was just clearing up the classes for SPM. You seriously dont wanna know how much rubbish there is in our school. I think I made 5 or 6 trips to the pondok sampah with bags filled with rubbish. LOL. Clearing halfway, Menghui told me that Cik Shahila was looking for me. So, I went to look for her. After finishing her task, continued with LKT duty at e block. Dutyy Dutyyyyyyyyyyy. Suddenly meet rueyying they all. Got called up by them to talk about exam stuff. Talk talk talk. Back to duty. The whole day just went on like that. Run here and there. Nothing much.

After school, went to pmo for awhile then went to the dentist. Was actually 5 minutes late and I had to wait for like half an hour. ishhhh. After tightening my braces, back to school. practice practice go home. Came home. Headache. rawr. Finally visited the doctor. Actually I went to Assunta hospital the day before cause I like couldnt swallow anything at all.BUT, I waited for one hour and cause I went at night around 10 something it was nearly 12 and not my turn yet. My father was so pissed off he just told the nurse to cancel it and we went home. Took panadol and went to bed instead. ouch. So, the doc said my throat this and that. blah blah. flu should be starting soon. NOOOOOOOO. LOL. Take medicine. Went home. Eat dinner, eat medicine, brush teeth, SLEEP. :D

BTW,

MONYUN CAME TO CHS TODAY! (Y)
Miss her soooo much!
wheeeeeeeeee x)

Happy 11.11.11 people! (:
I hope you didn't waste your wish.
And I hope i didn't waste mine. (:

At least I saw your smile today. (:
辉♥(:
shzexiann

Inoshishi des (:

2011-11-07T21:37:00.002+08:00

So trueeee. God damn it. ):

::::

A guy came to me at the wrong time and just reminded me of every single thing that I was trying to forget. Awesome much. Still, I talked to him. His problem is solved now, what about mine?

idk.

I actually typed a really long post but I just deleted everything and now I'm stuck here.
So I'll just post this short post.
yay. (:

I

am

so

out

of

words.

(:

You are an inoshishi. :P
辉♥(:
shzexiann

Tweet tweet (:

2011-11-05T20:36:00.003+08:00

Haah. :P

Played CAPTAIN BALL with other LKT members yesterday. Superrrrr FUN (Y) ! I tried being the goal keeper. LOL It was soooooo sien. x) So I just exchanged with Szemin and ran around catching and throwing balls instead. ((: I was in the same team with Menghui, Szemin, Zijian, Kaeshen, Kaiern and Muitien. Awesome people make one awesome team. :P We started playing after post mortem, which was like around 2 and finished at 3.30. (: Unfortunately, during the last ball. I was like 'snatching' the ball with voonhao. Here comes the wth part. He pulled the ball out of another persons hand and his shoulder bone hit my face. o.o My mouth to be exact. OUCH. I couldn't feel my lips then. I didn't know what to do. Then yulynn was like yerrr. so scary. got blood. o.o WTH. My upper set of teeth were all covered with blood. D: Plusssss my braces cut my lips. One lineee. Quickly went to drink water. Drink drink drink. At least the bleeding stopped, but my lips were like really really swollen. Voonhao was so gan jeong. AHAHAHA. Accidents are accidents, nobody wanted them to happen. It's okay. At least my teeth didn't like break. (: But, my team still WON! :D 14-5? I forgot. Something like that lahh. :P YAY US. :D

Reached home. I couldn't close my mouth properly. LOL. I could not even eat dinner properly. Painnnn. ITAIIIIII. My dad insisted that I went to the dentist. So I went. The orthodontist that was incharged for my braces wasn't in. So I just went to Dr. Tong instead. :P He said it will take one week to heal. rawrrrrrr. Why? Nandeska? D: Well. It's okayyy. I'm still living with it. Just that i can't move it too much. I CAN'T LAUGH. Maybe a little lahh. ): One week. Just one week. (: So now need to gargle with some antibacterial mouthwash everyday after every meal. plusss apply Medijel. AHA. (: Don't worry. I'm still alive and my teeth are still intact! x)

:::::

PMO today! NO MARCHING! wheeeeeeee x) 'Cause it was raining. Only Form one and Form two's have marching infront of Sports centre cause they will be having their exams soon. (: So went up. Practiced a little then talk to Haojiann. Got a sweet from him tim. AHAHAHA. YAY ! x) 10 o'clock they finally finished marching. Went to E block to teach them. Me, alone, infront of Form one and Form two. Running in between both classes. LOL. The rest of the zhuzhang's and seniors were all practicing for OD. ): Don't remind me. Still kinda :/ about it. But i'm fine. No biggy deal. ((: You know what. I felt kinda happy teaching those juniors today. They seriously showed me that they practice. 'Cause they like seriously improved ALOT! Lovessssssss to the max! (: After lunch, form one hezhou first, so we practiced downstairs. Sang some lame song with shurui. x) Then went for hezhou. :P Then BALIK RUMAH. YAY! :D

So now, I'm here, writing this.
well yeah,
bye. :D

Your smile just adds a twist to my day. (:
辉♥(:
shzexiann.

Graduation day.

2011-11-03T21:11:00.003+08:00

I've been so busy with LKT lately. RUN HERE AND THERE. All those preperation just for this BIG BIG day. Form 5's GRADUATION DAY. :D Finished buku aturcara with rosetts for the VIPs and so. Duty on that day itself with voonhao. Waiting at Foyer block A for the VIP's together with Rosett people :P zixin, vinton and huien. We laughed all our way through. Laughed how it was soooo easy to differentiate between a VIP and a normal staff. AHAHAH. By looking at their car and how they dress. EPIC DIE! :P We also laughed at how long it took for them to just park a car. x) Had so muchhhhh fun in the morning while waiting for the VIP's.

ME, Madam Chee and Voonhao (:

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ !

Favourite teacher and AWESOME buddy. x)

Yesssh. We are the group that are incharged of serving VIP's. :P
One epic thing is that Vinton actually pinned a rosett onto a Brother's shirt right at his armpit.
AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!
Miss Margaret saw and then asked me "Why don't you do it? You see the guys can't pin them properly." And then she hit me. LOL. Those kind of playful style punya. LOL. Laugh laugh laugh then walk away. Heeeeeee. :P

Second part of my duty was in the dewan. Standing at the side with Voonhao. Checking students rosetts as they walk by. ((: Nothing much. Just stand there and talk talk talk. :P Then when it was time for persembahan went backstage to continue duty. LOL. Itu GOHKWEEYEW ahh. Cause I was sitting behind the curtains and I was trying to see what was going on, kweeyew just pulled the curtain and the people in the dewan could see me. Ishhhhhhh. RAWR :O

Then jemput VIP down the stage. Blah blah. After performance.
DUTY OVER! (Y)

Group photo! ((:
Proud to be a part of LKT! :D

I actually have nothing much to say about graduation day. Owhh well.
Unlike last year. (:

Happy Graduation Form 5's
and
Happy Retirement Puan Sim!

Stay smiley always (:
Heeeeeeh.

A thousand words yet to be said.
辉♥(:
shzexiann.

20111102 (:

2011-11-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

LIKE! :D

Life was never meant to be with all ups and no downs. Why do I keep forgetting this? I keep wondering why is this, this and why is that, that. HAAH. No more. Happy go lucky. (Y) !

I've been trying to help some people out lately. You seriously do not know how much one smile can mean to a person. ((: Or maybe just a simple sentance asking them to gayao. :D It all makes a difference. You'll never know. Maybe one day it's because of you that person succeeds in something really big and becomes famous. Woahh. Kua zhang liao lahh. But, there are chances. (:

Life is too short to live with hesitations. So, just do it! ((: Never be afraid to aim high and strive for a better tomorrow. When there's a will there's a way. Never say that you're a failure. People who call themselves failures are just people who don't know that they succeed. Maybe not in this way, but in another way. (: In your own little dictionary, there's no such thing as giving up, no such things as failures. You must believe in yourself. Believe. :D

I believe in smiles.
I believe in dreams.
I believe in happiness.
I believe in fate.
I believe in friendship.
I believe in love.
I believe in you.
I believe in me.
((:

kawaii des ne, inoshishi! (:

每个人都拥有一个梦
即使彼此不相同
能够与你分享
无论失败成功都会感动

爱因为在心中
平凡而不平庸
世界就像迷宫
却又让我们此刻相逢 our home.

-爱因为在心中- wangleehom (:

One thing I like about life is that I get to smile at your smiles. (:
辉♥(:
shzexiann.

Tireddddddd.

2011-11-01T19:55:00.002+08:00

I SERIOUSLY WANNA DO THIS.
Just gonna throw all this rubbish away.

Looking at you today, I just wondered.
Why?
I must have been really stupid before to have made this stupid mistake.
One that I cannot take back.
One that has left a mark and I KNOW will never disappear.
No time to regret ehh.
Hmmmmmmm. :/

I'm still okay.

Having a headacheeeeeeee.
Tired. Eyes are sore. Slept for only 2 hours last night.
Insomnia.
48 hours and I slept for like 7 and a half hours?
I better get some sleep tonight.
Being so busy lately, I'm running out of energy.
I guess this explains why I don't really feel like myself today.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH. :'(

What the hell do you want from me?
I don't think I can handle this anymore.

shzexiann.

Hmmmm.

2011-10-31T22:58:00.002+08:00

:/
You know what.
I only slept for like 1 hour plus last night.
and I don't know why.
I was already lying down on the bed at 12.
turn here turn there 4 am ady.
Finally fell asleep. 5.30 alarm ring. (Y)
Suprisingly I was wide awake the whole day.
Run here run there. Graduation day raptai.
Uhh. I didn't know form 5's were so Monkey-ish.
Memang hard to handle. But at least they're better than Pn. Lim.
Wth. I thought buku aturcara was already done. Mana tau today ask me go do again. ):
Then i did it, printed it. And she said the ink wasn't dark enough. Ask me to print again using another printer. C'mon! What do you want from me. D: FINE. Print liao give her and she kept on reminding me to go to school everyday so that i can staple them when they are done. :/
Anyway, back to the raptai. banyak sien. D:
Do this and that then finish! YAY! (Y)
Helped kweeyew print the certs for the penang competition together with menghui. hah.
Then after school ady! Job not done yet. Followed kweeyew to 4S3 ask who wanna sing song. x) Then go home. wheeeeeee :D

At home. After lunch. Fell asleep in the living room. LOL.
Then woke up went into the room continue sleeping. AHAHAHAH.
I think I slept from 2 somethning till 7 something.
Tonight no need to sleep again. ):
See lahh. Isshhh. People become lifeless when they have nothing to do. :D
Just use the whole night doing tuition homework. (Y)
Stupid Bina ayat. when will I be able to conquer you? D:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAAAAAAAAATTHEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

Anger released. (:

::::::

I'm just wondering if I'm doing the right thing right now.
I wonder if I should just turn around and walk away.
what if, what if.
What if you weren't you?
And I wasn't me?
Would things be better?
I have no idea.
yes, idk.

Was not chosen for OD when the rest of the zhuzhang's were.
What does this tell me. Hmmmmm?
Yeah, I say that idc.
but I know I do.
whateverrrrrrrrrrrr.

曾经真正的相信世上有奇迹.
可是一再的失望, 我想放弃,
但我没资格做这个决定.

辉♥(:
shzexiann.

My shadow in you.

2011-10-26T22:23:00.004+08:00

Have you ever met someone that's just too important to you that even saying a simple goodbye is hard?

I have.

::::::

Such familiar feelings.
Such familiar thoughts.
I never thought that anyone would have understood how I felt back then. But now, it's like I'm seeing my shadows all over him. Everything that he said, it was the same as I used too. Back then, all that I was feeling was, I wanna talk but yet I don't want to. The feeling is like you just want someone to sit next to you and understand everything inside of you without you talking. And yet I still wonder how, how I've forgotten that feeling, how I've faced everything in a new different way. But just now, it was like I had a trip back to the past, watching the old me living such a pathetic life. I realised that I wasted those years. I realised that actually not everybody cares eventhough their called friends. And I realised that all those times there was only one person that was there for me. I glanced through the long abandoned ahiddenshadow. Trying to understand each and every post again, and I wondered, what the hell happened back then. I wanted to reach back into my brain and dig up my past but it was as if it was some sort of virus being blocked by a firewall that was set up in my brain. Maybe it's just my brains way of telling me to forget about it. Right, forget about it. I closed the tab, and continued staring at the chatbox that was still waiting for my reply. What did that person do when I needed someone the most, I thought. Cheer up kayy. No matter how hard you fall or how many pieces you're broken into, you'll always have your friends there to help you pick them up. (: I sent that message. A message that I never once let off my mind. His following replies were full of different types of frowny faces. I was thinking what would have happened to him that made him so down in the dumps today. Right, every thought of her would. I kinda feel sorry for him. Putting his heart out for someone he truly cares about yet that person doensn't even take a second look at him. Looking at myself right now, I'm wondering if I'm doing the same thing. I don't wanna go back to where I came from. He, as a friend, knew that I was way different than before. He tried to find out why, put I never wanted to talk about it, all i did was say that I'm okay. Now, when it's his turn. I finally know how every I'm okay is just a phrase to tell the whole world that you're NOT okay. I feel so helpless, unable to help him although I know the reason to everything. wth. He said that he had someone. Someone that he could trust, someone that was really important to him in a way that he could blab everything and anything out. I told him to go look for that person. His replies were then that he was afraid. Again, I saw the past of me. I too used to feel afraid, afraid of looking for someone to talk too, afraid that I might be pushed away. Yeahh, that feeling that makes you go insane. In the end, some of those worries became tears. I remember how it felt to cry more than an hour but having nobody's shoulder to cry on. Hmmm. I know he has. I know he has cried. Staring at that chatbox, I was trying to think of a way to let him know that he shouldn't be like this 'cause I've been through it and it sucks. But, I couldn't. Typing and erasing words. I was out of them! I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Then I thought. Maybe I should let him face all these, 'cause if I didn't back then, I would not be able to sit here today typing this. Right, falling down is a part of life; standing up too. But you wont always have to do it alone. Maybe you fell down alone, but trust me, you would not need to learn to stand on your own. You've always got people waiting to help you. It's just that you don't know. How I wish I actually understood all these back then. Hmmm?

Cheers kay.
Like always,
I've got your back. (:

(: ?

You're a smiley face that I always keep in mind.
A kind of memory that makes me feel better, sometimes. (:
辉♥(:

shzexiann.

Squirrel day. :D

2011-10-25T21:42:00.002+08:00

Nahhh. Just memories. (:
Grr + apes = Grapes.
:DD

::::

TODAY IS TUESDAY (:

But I'm gonna update a little about SATURDAY.

Last Saturday was Pmo's gotong-royong. You know, wash wash, clean clean, polish polish, wipe wipe, mop mop, throw throw, talk talk, laugh laugh, play play. :D BUT, I'm so sorry to say that I didn't go. ): Well, actually I went for like 15 minutes? :D Heh.

Instead, I went for Squash training. :D Awesomeeeee. wheeeeeeee. x)
We started off with breakfast. AHAA. I didn't eat anyway. Sat in the canteen talking to LEEZIJUN and TEOHKWANYEW. Omgg. Kwanyew memang cute. Haha. :D Then after that, we started training. The coach came and taught us this and that. Then we practice. After that he asked us to go gym. o.o We went up and touch har this and that. AHAHAHAHA. Well, you can actually look into pmo hall from there. :D

Then played squash with Pn. Salmiah, my maths teacher! (:
Teacher not that bad lahh. She kept making me run front and back. Telling me, 'Boleh kurus!' LOL. She likes to hit me and I don't know why. Almost all my teachers do. -.- Ahhhh. Anyway, I WON. :DDDDDDD

Then then, I took out my phone. I SAW SEVEN MISSED CALLS. WTF. UNKNOWN NUMBER. Suddenly I realised I forgot to see Pn. Lim and she wanted the Buku aturcara today. OMG. Called her and she said she's in the pejabat. O: RAN THERE WEIH. with the sample that I printed at home. AND AGAIN. She correct this and that. btw, jingcheng also let her correct dao behsong liao. LOL. Only I can stand her. wth. Then change what she wanted me to change then print. YAY! My job finally done. (Y) :DD

Then continued playing squash with Munyee, Leeying and Jinghui. :D During lunch time, I went up to pmo hall. ADA MEETING PULAK. Ended up late to the second half of practice. D: So played and then coach came in. Your hand ahh must 45 degrees. LOL. I remember this line the most. Cause I kept making the same stupid mistake. >< Yeahhh. My bad. :P Around 2.30 all the girls go back ady. Left me. o.o Watched Weijie play against Junwei. Pro dao. OMG. Then played with Zijun. Played till 3 something and went back to pmo.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

TA-DAAAA. There goes SATURDAY.
Went back home REALLY TIRED. Muscle ache everywhere. o.o
Didn't even feel like moving. AHAA.

Anyway it was awesomeeee.
Training with Junwei, Wailee, Nicholas, Gabriel, Jaclyn, Shalin, Weijie, Honghao, Zijun, Kwanyew, Jinghui, Munyee, Leeying and the others which I forgot their name. :/

:::::::

BACK TO TUESDAY! (:

Menghui, YENTING and me. YAY. :D

Today is the 25th of October. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR YENTINGGGGGG!♥ Love you BANYAK BANYAK. Thanks for being such an awesome friend! :D Will never forget the way we High-gei and sampat together since form one till now! and also our promise to watch all the twilight series movies together! (: wheeeeeeee :D Stay smiley kay. You are awesomeee. (: My awesomeeee punya squirrel darling. (:

I can resist but to smile each time I see you smiling.
Especially when you're smiling at me. (:
辉♥(:

shzexiann.

Insufficient Memory. (:

2011-10-20T22:57:00.003+08:00

My notebook full of stuff. :D

- I've been so bored in school these few days. Nothing to do except LKT LKT and more LKT. :D Hmmm. I also played Cluedo with some of the form 3's in pmo. Play dao abit sien liao. LOL. Reading books. All CHINESE. o.o Trying to improve on chinese kay. Yay me! (: Jingcheng was so happy to see chinese books coming from me and he actually finished reading it in one day when it took me like 5? D: Pro jiu shi pro. x)

- BUKU ATURCARA! I'M FINALLY DONE WITH YOU! RAWRRRRR! After the teacher finishes checking and there's no errors. After printing you out, I'm done! YAY! (: Well, thanks to voonhao for being lame and making this fun. Memang my best buddy. (: And thanks to jingcheng for helping me solve the stupid printer problem. THANKYOU BANYAK BANYAK! ♥ you guys! (:

- Hmmmm. Voonhao is gonna make his decision soon. Although I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want him to go. But still, it's for his bright future, he has too. ): Haihhh. No matter what, I'm sure he knows that he has me, and all his other friends supporting him through. (: VOONHAOOOO JIAYOUUUUU KAYYYY! :D Make the right choice, follow your heart. (: You've always got me to high-gei with you when you need someone. x)

- Haihhh. Kweeyew sick le. ): Get well soon ahhh daddy. (:

- Started form 4 tuition! So far it's BM and Accounts. Apparently everybody forgotten about tuition. And in the end, there was only me, dahui and sean during bm lesson on tuesday. The first lesson we learnt bina ayat. Haihh. dahui memang pro, he got all correct. I got 3 out of 5. ): Nvm. Gayaoo shzexian gayaooo. On wednesday, Accounts. (: I thought it'll be like our Kh accounts. But it was a little different. Still okay lahh. Need to start focusing. idc! (: Next month start Add maths! My aim is to ace next years first term exam! :D

::::::::::

暗恋也是一种幸福.
我发现到了,
其实自从我爱上了你之后，我感到很幸福.
每当看到你的时候，我就会额外的开心.
你也可以说，我脸上的笑容，
都是因为你. (:

But,
I still wanna know whats going on right now.
Tell me,
what do you want me to do right now.

Sometimes, you don't get what you hope for.
But you can make something better out of the things that you've got. (:

这样就够了.
辉♥(:

shzexiannn.

After pmr! woots. (:

2011-10-18T20:30:00.004+08:00

With my eyes closed, I stretched my hand out towards the empty space in front of me. All I wanted to do was to feel the same way I felt when you were still here.

Too bad, I already lost what I lost.

:::::

Bbq party @ ENHUEY'S house!
wait. It's actually called a stress release party. :D
with enhuey, jiayi, karmen, yuying, weiwen, siyi, yongleighherng, yuanhong, tzejian, mingkiat, zijun, koksoon, weide, auyong, honghao, karwin, weilik, munhan, weiguo, yingxuan, yenting, menghui :D
AWESOMEEEE PEOPLE. (:

Part of the girls. AHAH.
Imba :/

Erm.
Jiayi take de. :P
Braces YAY! (Y)

Zijun's mom fetched me there together with weilik and yuying. AHAHHA. WEILIK BANYAK EPIC. :D Make me laugh like crazy. Heh. btw, i knew him since primary school. (: Old buddy. :D

Had so much fun with them there. Cooking 60 pcs of chicken. I dont know how many potatoes. 2 pans of spagetthi. 2 packs of hotdogs. 2 packs of burgers. A box of cookies. AHAHHAHA. (: We had 1 bomba, 2 KRS and 1 scout setting up the fire. It took them like almost an hour? :P It's actually not their fault, auyong and weide took back expired charcoal and starters from the KRS room to use plus they got wet cause it rained earlier. Anyway, (Y) They did it in the end. AHAAAA. :D Awesomeeeeeee night! wheeeeeeeee. x)

The next day,
Sorethroat. D:
& I went to Sunway with pmo form 3's.

We went bowling first. Calvin, Saujun and Kenwei memang pro. Wth.
Got strike de tim. Not bad lahh. AHAHAHHA. x)
btw, there was a competition going on that day. Those people see ady will get scared de. Their ball is like 3 times faster than the speed of our bowling ball. LOL.

This picture was taken with xuewuen's phone. :D
All the pictures from the camera are @ facebook!
Go see! Go see! (:

Then we went to REDBOX cheong K. :D
Fuyoh sing dao i cannot talk properly.
Xuewuen and saujun. WTH!
Scream dao gou gou li. :P

While walking, we saw MENGHUI yay!
My master :D

Days after PMR.
Sien die. Sien sien sien!
Well, work start ady.
Printed Form 5's sijil.
Done girl's roset.
Done buku aturcara. well not completely done.
but, wth! I'm awesome. :D

怎么感觉上是我自己在傻傻的爱着一个永远都不会多望我一眼的人呢?
因为，那确实是事实.
辉♥(:

shzexiannn.

Frisbeeeeee. (:

2011-10-13T18:44:00.004+08:00

Took pictures of the Frisbee Tournament with Yenting yesterday (:
Spent the whole day on the field capturing pictures.
Well,
all the photos I took are with Kaixiang.
So, like that lah. AHA.

And yes, pmo shirt,
uniform day. hah.

Thankyouuuu kaixiang for lending me your dslr. (:

Favourite pic of the day. :D
Joe yee wanted to catch it but it ended up flying below his hands.
HAHAH. CUTE SANGAT.

I <3 capturing smiles. (:

::::

I seriously do want to know what you're thinking about.
Currently,
I'm like all messed up in different scenes of you.
None of them the same. :/

If there was only something that I could do to make things different.
I would.

short update.

你让我充满了勇气.
辉♥(:
shzexian.

chill shzexian chill.

2011-10-11T16:00:00.004+08:00

sm:)e.

Pmr's over. Like finally.
Guess what?
I'm even more stressed out now.
I don't think that I did well.
And now I'm all worried about those results.
AHHHH.
CHINESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
BMMMMMMM.
RAWR! D:

I don't know what to do.
Someone tell meeeeeeeeee.
I know I shouldn't worry but wth.

SOMEONE COME BRAINWASH ME!

SHZEXIANNNNNNNN!
PMR IS OVER.
RELAX!

DD:

How many times I told myself not to search for you in the crowd.
I did not.
You just appeared.

Hmm...?

♥ (:

shzexiann.

2 weeks to go!

2011-09-19T00:58:00.003+08:00

It's 1 in the morning. Don't ask me why I'm here. I just am. (:
Sejarah is really killing me. RAWR D:
Two more weeks to go.
Trials results turn out to be ____ enough.
Haihhh. :/
Why can't I just ace this stupid nightmare-ishh test. :(
Someone come motivate me pleaseeeeee. :/
Even a simple text message will make everything better. D:

awww. HAHHA.
I miss my fringe. :/

My mind has been all messed up lately.
About pmr.
About you.
About that day.

Why can't things ever come one at a time?
Life ....? (:

I've been missing people alot lately.
It's like suddenly I think of someone that I've not been talking to for awhile.
I don't know why.
maybe its coming from all this studying.
Ishhh.

Damn it.
I dont know what to say anymore.
I came here with alot on my mind to say.
But now,
nothing.

Owh well.

This is goodbye,
until after PMR.

2 weeks!

shzexiann jiayouuuu! :D

辉,
我们之间到底发生了什么事?

shzexiannn.

You're my star! (:

2011-08-29T22:29:00.002+08:00

Ain't it sad to see things go away when you know that you're the only one that knows how to appreciate it.

眼泪不断地在眼眶里打滚。

忍，忍，忍到他走了就好。

我硬憋出了个笑脸，对他撒了个谎。

我说了最违背我良心的话。

“我 ...不爱你了。”

：：：：

有一种爱是寡言的。他的付出也许是独断的，他的温柔可能是执著。

有一种爱是朦胧的。他的付出也许是不自主，他的温柔可能是迷茫。

有一种爱是无形的，他的割舍是因为一种希冀，希望所爱的人拥有比自己更幸福的人生，他的放弃是由于一种不舍，因为爱的太深，所以选择放开对方的手。

我对你的爱，或许是无形的，
因为太过爱你，
因为要你成功，
因为要你比我更幸福，所以选择了放手，让你自由。

人，总是爱做傻事。以为牺牲自己就是最好的方法。
但其实，我们都错了。
牺牲，只会让两方都受苦。
牺牲，只会让两方都忘记当初的好。
牺牲，只会迎起误会。
牺牲，只会让被牺牲的那一方活再恨对方的痛苦中。
牺牲，根本就是让人渐行渐远的原因。

::::

放羊的星星 (:

告诉他，他已变成我的星星.
就算再远，也不断的发亮着.
辉♥(:

shzexiann.

You smile, I smile (:

2011-08-25T22:52:00.003+08:00

Sometimes,
All you need to do is find the perfect time to
Let go. (:

::::

You're a star (:

The nearest star to the earth is 4.3 light years away. One light year is 9,460,700,000,000 kilometers away. Which means, I have at least passed 40,681,000,001,000 kilometers before I've found you from your weak glow. You're not like the other stars. To me, your glow is even brighter than the moon. To me, you're the star that's leading me through the night. (:

110823.
It was awesome in so many different ways.
Open bracket dot dot. Less than three. (:♥

告诉他，他对我很重要.
非常非常的重要.
辉♥(:

shzexiann.

Studyyyy!

2011-08-11T00:33:00.002+08:00

Trials just around the corner.
STUDYYYY.
Good luck everyone! (:

::::

Maybe I should just forget what I once thought was possible.
Looking at where we're at.
Nothing's gonna work no matter what.
The feeling's all different.
And I keep saying I don't know why.
It feels like it's SO obvious.
Yet I still can't see it.
How I wish I never fell into this trap.
A big hole filled with questions.
Maybe it's time to focus on something else.
idk.

::::

One thing that I found out is that people don't care what you've done for them. As long as it's right, they thank you. And when it's wrong. IT'S YOUR FAULT.
I know that I'm a failure kay. You don't need to point that out.
So the next time you need help. Don't ask me. Since I ALWAYS get things wrong.

::::

Life, unlike a game of chess continues even after checkmate.

告诉他，他很帅.
在我的心中比谁都帅.
我爱他.
辉♥(:

shzexiann.

Just tell me why.

2011-08-07T22:49:00.003+08:00

Memories are supposed to fade slowly.
Hopefully this wont. (:
It was an awesomeee performance.
And of course,
because I knew that you were there.

::::

HELLO (:
You're now looking at the
Penolong Ketua Kebersihan II 2011/2012
of the Monitorial Board.
WOOTS! :D
Well, I know I was a little sad when I didn't get the post I aimed for.
But what the heck?
Life's full of surprises.
Surprise me. (:

::::

《天地人和》 (:
AWESOME MINI CONCERT! :D
Look at the picture above.
We aren't considered as pmo-ians if we dont steal the spotlight x)
We just shine TOO BRIGHTLY.
Thats all. :D
btw, spot meeee!

::::

Lately, so many things has been happening.
Now I find it simply hard to trust anyone.
Cause I seem to notice how people change.
It's like yesterday they were sitting by your side.
But today they're standing across the field laughing at you.
I just don't know.
Now i just seem to find this world so fake.
Like I'm living in a lie.
Who knows? Maybe I am.

-----

Now it's my turn to ask WHY.
Why did they even choose her as a leader?
Why did they give her such a great job?
WHY?
Why when you say the whole group has to run she doesnt need to?
TELL ME WHY.
I WANNA KNOW THE EFFING REASON.
Just because she's one of the top few people.
Doesnt exclude her from this.
Why can she think that the whole world is under her arms and she can do anything her way.
Seriously I felt like slapping her when she just humiliated a Form 1 like that with her stupid tone of voice.
WHATS HER PROBLEM?
Rumah T-Shirt ain't our official uniform so what makes you think that you can force her to buy a new one just because its missing? It's her choice. Not yours.

I've had enough of her. Enough. Seriously enough.
She thinks that she has the right to do EVERYTHING.
LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR.
Just because I'm new at the job doesn't mean I don't know what to do.
I have a BRAIN you know.
You don't have to keep telling me what to do.
AND FYI your 遗书 was a total insult to me.
I can't stand it anymore.
One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
Just one more time.

Maybe you're unlucky that you just got to me when I have reached my limit.
Too bad.
Cause I've hold it back for a long time now.
And to what experiences I've got.
YOU AIN'T WORTH IT.

yayyy.
I feel much better now.
But how I wish you were here now gorr. :/
I miss you. ):

Dear you,
I watched you from the classroom above.
You just make me fall deeper and deeper everyday.
Now I can't stop thinking about you.
I just can't. :/

告诉他，我很幸福.
可是有了他，就会更加幸福.
我爱他.
辉♥ (:

shzexiann.

ahiddenshadow 0529.

2011-08-02T21:10:00.002+08:00

Last Christmas (: Just a simple memory. (:

I just found this picture in facebook. LOL
My expression is a total like whatttt? :O
It looks like this -_-
AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I have really SMALL eyes. ><

AND AND AND.
I MISS JIEWEI! D:
I miss his smile. HAHAHA
And his violin. :P

::::::::

HAIH.
What a stupid day at tuition.
Why does sean have to always mess things up.
Damn it.
I hope that you wont think anything unlikely.
AHHHHHH.
How I wish I could just tell you.
How I wish that everything could just go on.
How I wish that you understood.
Well. Maybe you do.
Just that you're not showing it out.
You're making me go crazyyyyyy. ):

::::

(:
English period today was like really EPIC.
I gave the Ahiddenshadow article to Miss Sharmini cause she wanted it.
And you know what she told me?
I'm gonna send this to Ed-board ahh.
To be published in the school magazine.
I was like totally O.O
*nods head* *speechless*
I can't believe somebody actually thinks that its nice.
AHAH.
Owhh well. (:
I guess I should be happy (:

::::

MR MICHAEL LOVES PMO! :D
Just saying. (:

告诉他，我爱他.
每分每秒都在爱着他.
辉♥ (:

shzexiann.

Surprise! (: & Musical Night.! :D

2011-07-31T22:01:00.004+08:00

SURPRISEEEEEEE! (:

Shin and Monyunn came back today! (:
So glad to see them.
It brings back those memories from last year. (:
Owh well.
I guess I've got to say that we've all grown up.
AHAHA.
Maybe only them. :P

Monyun (:
This one was taken after the concert.

Shinyi jiejie :D
This was taken before the concert.

LOVES. (:

::::::::::::::

MUSICAL NIGHT! (:

Had alot of fun during that day. Imba here and there with KATH! :D
Took some photos. But only this was uploaded so far.
Awwwwwww.
What can i say? It was awesomeeeeeeeeee.
And I proved that I don't need a ticket to watch the show for like 4 times. -.-
During the afternoon show, after our performance.
Me and Kath talked to Mr. Wong KK.
AHAHHAA. HIS DAUGHTER BANYAK CUTE EH! (:
Took a pic with him and his daughter too. LOL. :P
Btw, did I mention the epicness of us doing make up?
Me and Kath and Yanhui.
Wth. EPIC DAO YAO SI. x)

Before the night concert,
VOONHAOOOOOOOOOO! (:
Took a pic with him.
Wheeeeeeee x)
And ingen and songling. :P

After performing,
Slacked about waiting for the FINALE singing.
Then we all went on stage.
Me and Kath went up the stage wearing SLIPPERS! AHAHA.
Joke of the day. Wth.
And we waved our hands till got muscle ady! :P
FUN FUN DAY. :D

Actually I've got nothing much to say.
No inspiration.
Owhh well. (:

::::::::::::

I saw you.
In a long sleeve shirt and jeans.
Why did you make me fall for you
when you did not intend to catch me?

告诉他，我就是爱他.
永远都那么爱他.
辉♥ (:

Shzexiann.

close bracket dot dot.

2011-07-26T20:52:00.005+08:00

You can't break what broke apart.

The burning pieces of me.

::::
When will I finally understand what's going on?
I'm afraid of looking you in the eye.
Talking to you seems to be a challenge.
Each time it's my turn to play the game.
I just turn around and walk away.
What a coward, echos through my mind.
Thanks for proving that I'm a failure again. (:

::::

Open bracket dot dot.
All I need is your smile that agrees with my every action.
To tell me that it's alright.
To tell me that it's okay.
How I wish you were standing right infront of me.
Looking into my eyes.
Saying that you know what I mean.

::::

The sun shining brightly above our heads.
Sweat sliding down my forehead to my cheeks.
Legs so sore till I wish I didn't have to walk anymore.
Standing in the court watching the ball being tossed about.
Getting ready. Shoots and scores.

I watched you walk by.
And I watched you walk away.
I seriously don't know how I'm supposed to feel.
open bracket dot dot or close bracket dot dot?
A choice I couldn't make.

owhh well.

::::

无论他们又说什么
闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我
没人能代替的我

无论他们又做什么
小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful (:

我是谁 (:

INTERCLASS NETBALL!
THIRD PLACE!
3A4 is AWESOMEEEEEE! (:

告诉他，有个人真的很爱他.
很爱很爱他.
辉♥ (:

shzexiann.

The more you hope,

2011-07-24T18:27:00.003+08:00

the more disappointed you get.

AJK 2011/2012 (:

Yeahhh. I didn't get the post I aimed for.
They gave me the post I said I did not want to do during the interview.
WHY?
HAIHHH. OWH WELL.
I can't say no can I.
But seriously. I don't think I deserve it.
No matter how many times kweeyew told me that I can.
I'm still doubting it.
Not that I don't believe in myself.

But cause I know I don't have enough qualities like the others do.
Why try to force me through it?
I have no idea.
But anyway, I'll do my best.

Same goes for LKT.
I didn't get the post I aimed for either.
I got Penolong Ketua Kebersihan II.

Can't say much.
But I'll do my best.

::::

There wasn't a reason to smile.

Thankyouuu kweeyewwwwww for lending me your shoulder for two days straight. (:
Thankyouuu Yuenjing, Sarah, Kaini, Puiyong and many other LKT members for the hugs (:
Thankyouuu voonhao and yenting for the hugs too eventhough we were so sweaty after netball. (:

Thankssss. :D
dot dot close bracket. less than three.

::::

NETBALL SEMI-FINALS.
TOMORROW!
WISH ME LUCK! 3A4!
GOOOOOOO! :D

告诉他，我爱他.
我真的真的很爱他.
辉♥ (:

shzexiann.

Hold on tight.

2011-07-19T20:49:00.004+08:00

Lines and lines of words.
All written out on a simple piece of paper.
Reading it over and over again.
My teeth biting hard against each other.
Memory after memory passing by my mind.
I tell myself it aint worth it.
But. thats it.

Torn to pieces. Turned into ashes.
Byeeee feelings.

::::

天空没有翅膀的痕跡，但鸟儿已经飞过；

心里没有被刀子割过，但疼痛却那么清晰.

One day.
If you look at me and ask me how am I.
I would say that I'm fine.
And hope that you'll know its just a lie.

辉, 加油.
shzexian.

《迎辉续绽》!

2011-07-18T18:11:00.003+08:00

循仁独中华乐团's concert 《迎辉续绽》!

We all high gei high gei high gei (:
Thats all you need to know :D
Nice school. Awesome facilities. But fail PA system. LOL!
We all were like snatching Mr Wong to take a picture with us.
And it loooked as if we were the ones that were having the concert!
HAHAHA!
That's how we pmo-ians do it! x)

Fineeeeeeee.
I know this pic memang fail. :P
Dont know what happened to my fringe.
Anyway, yay! It's shzexian. (:

::::

So many things going on.
Haihhhhhhh.
Wish me luck!
I hope you actually understand what I'm feeling.
Instead of taking it as a joke.
Pleaseeeeeee. I know you're better than that.

::::

NETBALL COMPETITION TOMORROW!
Wish me luck! 3A4! GO GO GO! :D

Hey you. yes you.
I know that you're joining too.
Good luck kay!
Jiayouuuu (: ♥

When you look me in the eyes.
shzexiann.

pain :(

2011-07-12T20:35:00.002+08:00

damnnn.

STUPID BRACES KILLING ME! D:
I seriously hate the feeling of pain.
sobs.
Now i just have to bare with it.
fml. rawr.

It just makes me wanna go to sleep.
I dont feel like talking.
I can't even concentrate on something.
dont even talk about eating.
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

::::

Today was just another long long day.
Not even a single word today.
At least there were smiles (:

until the end,

PAIN
PAIN
PAIN
PAIN
PAIN
PAIN
PAIN
PAIN

banyak sakit you tau? :(

I wanna know whats up with you.

shzexian.

fivehundredplustwenty.

2011-07-11T00:16:00.002+08:00

I just dont know.

::::

I seriously don't know whats happening anymore.
It's like me and my emotions arent connected.
Whats wrong.
I seriously don't know.
How I wish I knew.

I close my eyes and pray for a better day. I really hope that its working.

It started off with only two reasons.
now, there's a thousand to it.

GOR back with short hair. awesomeee (:
Tried the webcam on this thingy for the first time.
not bad. not bad.
GET WELL SOON GOR! :D

shzexian.

You can put the blame on me.

2011-07-07T21:14:00.002+08:00

I was thinking about you,
Thinking about me,
Thinking about us,
What we gonna be.

Open my eyes,
It was only just a

DREAM.

The way we looked at each other,
no longer like before.

::::

For now, I don't even know what I should feel like.
I don't know how I should feel.
I don't know what reaction to show.

I'm not emo.
I'm not sad.
I'm not happy either.

Try getting listed in the blue card for two days in a roll.
One for some kind of stupid nonscence that doesnt make sense.
And one for the stupid school rule.
And guess what? sad? 10 minutes.
GONE. Not sad anymore. Never even started to get emo.

Damn. I keep wondering whats going on.
It's like something went wrong with my senses.

Owhwell. I guess it's better this way.
Better to not feel than feel it.

If you're gonna go.
At least let me miss you.

Shzexian.

Nothing's like before.

2011-06-28T21:53:00.002+08:00

Why did things have to end up like this?
What's my fault in all of this?
Now, I'll be happy if you just said a single Hi.

Now and then,
Everywhere I go. Everything I do.
Something that has to do with you will pop up.
Just like how daydreaming in class would actually end up watching you pass by my class.

It came across my mind, the day i found out that all these happened.
Should I let you go?
Break away from all this hope?
Pull myself away from faith?
But then i got an answer.
If I walked away now.
Am i really that sure that i wont regret?
Am i gonna walk down another road and never turn back?
The last thing that i wanna do is walk away and regret what i've lost and can never get back.

But now,
Can i actually ask myself these questions when you dont even look at me anymore?
We dont even say Hi anymore.

What's this?
It's called ignorance, with a reason to it.
And i don't blame you for it.

For now,
All I can do is watch you from afar.
Good luck with your marching.
I know you're awesome.

shzexian.

Pros and cons.

2011-06-18T19:35:00.003+08:00

Lately, it's like i dont know what's the meaning of friends anymore.
fml weih.

It's like they ask you to accompany them.
But in the end you're left alone.
I don't see the logic in this.
What a waste of time.
Uhhh.

::::

LKT telematch went on today.
It was okay with Voonhao and Junhan.
Well, the best thing was the fact that we 3 screamed our hearts our during the singing part of the game. Glad that I had some AWESOME teammates. :D
We came in THIRD! :D

WE ARE BUZZING! WE ARE STINGING! AND WE WILL BE WINNING! :D
GO YELLOW (:

::::

Today was just so i-dont-know-what.
I don't really know how many times I saw you.
But each time I saw you, it felt different.
I don't know why. I just don't know.
Haihhh.

I seriously need to get my mind off things. :/

Tell me why, you're so hard to forget.
Shzexian.

I thought this would never happen.

2011-06-16T20:31:00.002+08:00

I officially give up.

I know that I'll never be someone that you'll turn to.
But you could at least just reply the message i sent to you?
Don't tell me that I'm wasting all this worry.
'Cause you don't know how much you mean to me.
And I want to make sure that you're alright.
But you'll never know anyway.
SO?

Yeahh, So what?

I just have to keep telling myself.

SO WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Forget it.
Maybe all this that I'm doing is crap to you.
But idc anymore.
Getting hurt again and again.
Without you realizing it.
Nowadays, i just fake a smile on my face to save all those worries.
REMEMBER THAT.

Shzexian.
dissapointment.

爱，无限.

2011-06-08T00:14:00.004+08:00

或许我终于找到了答案。

人的大脑是一个很奇怪的东西。经过它而判断出来的东西都是我们自己最想要的东西。经过它而看到的画面也是自己最想看到的。所以，当我们的心中一旦有了一个吸引我们的人，正常的，我们的大脑里也会有他的画面在内。这时候，这画面已不是普通的了。我们的大脑将可以很容易的把他与其它人分辨出来。因此，我们会发现到，当我们喜欢上一个人的时候，我们能很容易的把他们从人群中寻找出来。

或许这说明是错的。

如果是的话，
那你可以告诉我为什么吗？
为什么每一次在一大群人中，我都能很容易的找到你？
为什么每一次我望出门外，经过的人一定是你？
为什么每一次打开电脑，读着书或看电视，你的名字都会出现？
为什么你总是离不开我的视线？
为什么我每一次都会感应到你的存在？

或许是我自己的心里作用。

月下老人所说的红线，如果不小心断了该怎么办？

你给的安全感，就快消失了。
我希望，你知道。

What's wrong? was the last thing you asked me.
Shzexian.

How many times will it take to get it right?

2011-06-06T01:50:00.002+08:00

What have I done?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under.

::::

If I were to close my eyes right now, can you guarantee me that I'll be able to open my eyes the next day? Can you make sure that I'll be able to see you again the next time I look for you?

All these questions. Flooding my mind. Why can't I just think straight for once? Why does my life always has to be about you? You, were and are the only one that could completely change me. But as the line draws through. We can only be this way near. No longer than that for you, already have a life of your own. Who am I, as a stranger, to walk in and change everything? I'm sorry.

::::

What can you do when your good isnt good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down.
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things.
I just wanna fix it somehow.

::::

The sun will always shine after the rain.
But how do you know that we'll always be the same?
It's killing me. The fear of losing you.
Someone as important as you.

I once asked you what if we became enemies one day?
You told me.
We wont. 'Cause I'm like you and you're even more like me. Hating you would be hating myself. I've always got your back.

Heartstrings.
shzexian.

Life's not all about faith.

2011-06-02T16:55:00.002+08:00

DADDY! ♥ :D

AHAHHA.

Sister and Brother (:

::::

Sometimes in life,

we just have to look at the bright side of things. (:

You seriously dont know how much I've missed you.

I hope that you're doing fine over there.

Good luck in your exams! (:

辉,

我真的很想知道你到底在想什么.

这感觉一点都不好受.

Never better.

shzexian. (:

HEH. :D

2011-06-02T16:24:00.003+08:00

It's June! RAWR!
And I'm back people. I hope.
Hopefully I'll be able to keep this thing alive again. (:
Pray hard for me. :P

So lets see...

EXAMS ARE OVER BABEH! :D
I really hope that I'll get better marks this term.
Or else I'll rather die. Heh.
I'm serious.
At least I did my best.
RAWR (:

Hmmmmmm.
COMPETITION'S over too! :D
Jianwu got gold and The lord of the dance got silver!
It was totally unexpected. Damn. I thought my team which is the lord would like have poof and disappear from the chance of winning. HAHA
Miracles do happen? (:

3 days in Penang were AWESOME! :D
Staying in the same room with Leeyuan, Jiaying and Siowshien is even better!
AHAHAH. You can finally see how seniors are after they take of their masks. LOL
They are just equally sampat. :PP

Then competition day was really exciting and disappointing in their own ways.
Well. Words cant describe how we actually feel. So I'll leave it that way. (:
Later at night after everything ended,
I received an unknown call.
Guess who was it?
It was gorrrrrrrrrrrrr! :D
That phone call really really made my day.
Omg. I really miss him so much.
Haih. :/

Heritage walk on the last day.
I think it made my leg even worse.
And to those who dont know.
My leg was actually dislocated. ftw.
But it's better now. Just that I still cant run, jump and walk fastly.
LOL. Owh well. (:

In the bus with tiensing sitting beside me.
LOL. Epic. He memang cutenya. :DDD

Hmmmmmmm.
This is what i call fu yan. :D

辉(:

shzexian.

Noob noob (:

2011-04-25T14:22:00.003+08:00

I have really small eyes. x)

Sometimes, after you get rid of all those unwanted disasters in your mind. All you wanna do is smile like it's your last chance. And that's the moment when your friend comes along with a dslr and captures it. (:

::::

爱你，是我的错。

I never should have stepped in, cause now it's really hard to get out.
I never should have fallen for you, when I know that it's impossible for you to catch me.
I never should have took that second glance, cause now in my mind, I see you all over me.

damn.

::::

Hmmmm.
Gor went back to aussie. :/
Take care kaaaaaaayy. (:

其实我真的爱你.
shzexian.

Welcome back (:

2011-04-20T18:07:00.003+08:00

RAWR! I made a really stupid mistake. (:

YEAHH. Ignore the lame picture above.
Just some really lame pose for the 3A4 collage Yupyn wants to make. AHAHA. (:
GUESS WHAT? I'm back to keep this blog ALIVE! And I hope I will be able to do it since I didn't the last idontknowhowmany times. :D Hmmm. I actually have so much to tell yet so hard to put them in words. Some really lame shyt and some really bek chek uhh-ness.
Wheee (:

smile smile smile.
I have no idea why I'm smiling. D:
Cacat. (:

This is my master POKKA. :D
YES! She cut her hair and now looks like Miss Shrmini in my opinion. :D

Some random pic I took which I wanted to use for the photo competition.
But then, NAHHH.
I ain't no photographer. (:

3A4 COLLAGE. SPOT ME! :D

It's a little late but,
GOR IS BACK IN MSIA (:
I really missed him.
Glad to see him.
Hopefully he wouldn't leave without a goodbye. :/

Buai. (:
shzexian.

woxiangxin. (:

2011-03-24T19:17:00.005+08:00

When you look me in the eyes. ♥ (;

If a smile could make everything clear. Let me tell you something. The smile that you'll be able to see might not be infront of you. But behind of you, when your eyes have left mine. Even if there is hope, I still choose to remain silent.

'Cause if you really knew,
you would know what to do. (:

夜雨晨风 ; ♥

shzexian.

夜雨晨风 (:

2011-03-22T20:33:00.004+08:00

:::: (:

Sometimes I wonder when you look me in the eyes, what does it mean?

You're just another normal passer-by. But yet, you left a really big mark. Sometimes I just wonder, to you, what am I? If people were to ask me why, there's nothing that I can say, that's just the way my life goes.

Masquerade. ♥

In a sea of people wearing masks. Would you be able to know who's who?

Everything's hidden behind covers. Masks replace faces with no revelation. The truth may not be found through searching or seeking. To find what's underneath is somewhat a mission. Tell me something, make me believe. 'Cause I've got nothing that's making me breathe.

I'll be patient, 'cause I've always been waiting. (:

♥ (:

shzexian.

hello.

2011-03-21T18:09:00.008+08:00

It never seemed to be the right time to post something here. Since it has been dead for so long. Time to bring it back to life. :D

It has been so long since we last talked to each other. I wonder how are you doing?

Just because of one post in facebook. Just one post and I keep thinking how stupid I've been. How stupid I was. How stupid I am. Damn. It has been so long since I last really thought about stuff like these. And you know what, each time I think of you, I tend to change, from that slight smile into tears. :/

Do you still remember every single thing that you told me?
Too bad, I do.

Do you know that the very day you stepped in.
You never left.

0529.
shzexian.

I believed. Used to.

2011-02-11T17:54:00.002+08:00

The more I try to forget the harder it becomes.

It's really difficult to hide whatever that's in you. But that's what I've been trying really hard to do lately.

I tried so hard to do the best I can.
But to you it'll never be even near to good.
Forget it.

Forget. Forgot. Forgotten.
shzexian.

No promises.

2011-01-17T14:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like knocking my head on the wall so hard till I never have to wake up again. Never have to face any single sight of a person that never remembers. Being able to forget so easily, it's like you never remembered. When you say you mean it, you know what, you just don't mean it.

眼泪不会因为你说对不起而消失.
Tears wont fade away no matter how many times you apologize.

shzexian.

Just 4 days.

2011-01-09T21:35:00.003+08:00

'Cause right now I don't know what to feel like.

Only 4 days left and you're leaving. Never wanted that to happen but it's gonna happen anyway. Right now the feeling is like nothing. Empty. Damn it, it feels like I'm losing something really important. Everyday it feels like another day closer to the end.

After you're gone, I guess I'll have to live in my own problems.

Haih. Hopefully you wont read this.

I'll miss you.
All the best. Good luck.
Take care. Stay healthy, happy.
The 18th year of your life!
Just keep going!

Goodbye,
shzexian.

Nothing like before.

2011-01-07T18:36:00.001+08:00

Feel the picture.

Happy New Year.

2011-01-07T18:12:00.003+08:00

A whole new year. New class. New friends. New life. New everything. But will there be a new me?

So school started off as usual. Since now they've changed the time, everything's 5 minutes earlier than before. School rules remain the same. PJK classes are now divided into PJ and PK. I don't know why. Hmm. What else is new? Ohya! Puan Wan Norizan has became a morning session teacher. :D Teaching my class Seni.

So the first week of school ain't that bad. Fyi, I'm in 3A4. It wasn't as bad as I expected it would be. At least I'm in the same class with Master, Siyi, Enhuey and Ah Tiong. Life goes on as usual. You know what, I've got nothing to say about school. :/

Till then,

All the best to those who are struggling!

All the best to you.

All the best to me.

ABC.

123

Bla bla bla.

shzexian.

Only you know the answers.

2010-12-29T23:09:00.005+08:00

If you got a chance to make a wish, only one, what would it be?
World peace?
A bestfriend?
New shoes?
Or something to believe in?

What's that one thing that you think about before you sleep each night?
A special friend?
A sweet memory?
A familiar smile?
Or just that person who has never left your mind?

What's that thing that makes your day no matter how sad you are?
A bar of chocolate?
Company from your bestfriend?
Knowing that there's someone always there for you?
Or just that warm smile from a very special person?

I no longer know what's this and that.
Everything somehow is like nothing.
What does this mean?

shzexian.

Yuexiang. (: Christmas Eve! :D

2010-12-26T17:35:00.027+08:00

Yuexiang (:

::::
The day started off waking up, brushing my teeth, taking a bath, getting dressed, slouching on the couch, watching TV, eating breakfast, packing up clothes and OFF to Jerning's house! :)

I was supposed to reach Jerning's house at 1 sharp. LOL. But I reached at 1.10pm. It felt so unusual. I've never been late! Well, the reason I was late was 'cause of the massive jam. FRIDAY MAHHH. ;D And maybe 'cause it's Christmas EVE! x)

Afterthat, we went to fetch Rueyying and Rueyping! And off to Bukit Jalil Golf Club! :D Reached there, went upstairs to the Langkawi room. Everyone there was preparing for the drama. Props, music, scripts etc. So, chat har, sit har, stand har, walk har, slack har, play har. Time for rehearsal! First was one of the teacher's singing. Then, huayue. Next was drama, really LOL weih.

After rehearsal, we went to change. All black! ;D Then went for dinner. Eat eat eat. Then we walked down to the golf course. I think we weren't supposed to be there. But who cares anyway. Who knows when I'll ever step into a golf course again? :) Philia made a really important phone call. x) And Jerning was snatching a baby from SeeMin. I almost fell down while going up the stairs 'cause it just rained. >.< And rueyying's heart skipped a beat 'cause she was right behind me! :D So we went into Tioman room to start practicing! ;D

When it was almost our turn, we lined up the hall. Waiting and waiting. Jerning was playing concert songs like Yarlung. And then we were talking, chatting. AHAHA. Like that lahh. :) You know what, I seriously dislike the things that happen to your instrument when the temperature of the surroundings changes. Pfft! Kept on going off tune. But nevermind lah. At least nothing major happened. (: So, we went on stage. And performed. 3 songs, maybe less than 10 minutes? :D Bowed, went down stage. Kept my stuff. And got ready for drama. I was incharged of lighting. x)

Yeahhh. This was how it looked like. ;D

So when it was our turn, lol, I was literally pushed into the backroom. It was so dark I could not read the script properly. Epic weih. So I was looking outside, hoping I wont off or on the lights at the wrong time. Awwwwww. I hope I did not. :) Everyone outside were rushing here and there. Getting their props and changing their costumes. Tick tock. ;D

Scene One (:

Time to Partayy! ;D

1300-88-2525. :P
Pizza hut special delivery!

Xueying was the Christmas tree. :D

Scene Two.

Kai Sheng. :D

And Jieying as the girlfriend. LOL.

Phebe's non-stop omgwtflol(?) laughing. xD

SANTA was played by Chee Chow. :)

Christmas shopping!

She got a discounted handbag. 70% i think.
It cost RM9999999.99. ;D

Scene 3.

Wayne as the Dad.
Anna, Veeanna, YanYi and SeeMin as the children.

XueYing amazingly transformed from a tree to a mom. (:

:D

Scene Four.

2010 years ago?

AHAHA! Phebe and Jiewei! x)

The End. :)

Afterthat, there were other performances and stuff going on. Lots of singing! LOL The first time I heard Christmas songs in Chinese! (:

Spot teojerning's dad! :D

Kangzhe singing.

And Kangyu playing the piano.

And then alot of stuff happened. ;D Or maybe not that much. But we left at about 10.30pm? I forgot. Before that, picture taking time! x)

Jerning and Jiewei. (:

Teorueyying! :D

Philia Chua (:

Phebe Chua (:

Jie Wei (:

Anna.
LOL.

Veeanna's brother! Cute eh. x)

Shu lian lao shi and Jiewei. :D

Yingzhen! :)

Anna. EPIC weih.

Teojerning and Philia :D

Definitely a night to remember! ;D

101224.
Christmas Eve!
shzexian. :)

Thankyou,

2010-12-14T19:04:00.003+08:00

For letting me know that I'm just a piece of crap.

It's not the goodbyes that hurt, it's the flashback that follows.
Lots of stuff are running through my mind right now. What happened a year ago. Months ago. Weeks ago. That day. Hours ago. Minutes ago. Seconds ago.

It's really saddening how different it has been. I keep asking myself why. But my mind just keeps telling me it's all my fault. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Who cares anyway. I know no one does. :)

I finally know what I lost.

就算再难过也算了.
shzexian.

Sometimes we have to understand,

2010-12-13T14:34:00.004+08:00

Life ain't gonna always be the way we want it to be.

Hmmmmmm.

I seriously don't understand why I've been feeling so like this lately. It's like I've lost something. But when I try to remember, it's like I've never had it. Like a fairytale in a nightmare. How I wish that someone can actually understand just by reading this. You can say that words don't mean much. But sometimes it's all I've got. :|

529 947.
shzexian.

Lost with no direction,

2010-12-12T18:13:00.007+08:00

our faith is shaking.

I guess I've really lost what I used to have.

Every time it hurts like it's a brand new wound. Like the scar was never a scar. Like it never stopped bleeding. Like I'm reliving all those yesterday's again and again.

Or maybe I have not had them before.

301209, 111210.
The best dream yet the worst nightmare.

Lately, I've been constantly reminded how I've been such a failure.
Being a failure that does every single effing crap yet other people get the credit.
Work so hard for something I wanted to get yet never got it.
Trying my best to fix every crap problem that YOU have yet got me tangled inside.
Did everything people asked me to do just to make them happy.
Being blamed for things I didn't do yet never got the chance to clear it all off.

I've been holding in every single sign of anger. Never shouting and screaming at any of these people. And in the end, all I get is being treated like I never existed.

I've lost the feeling that not many people can give.
Whatever you say.
It's still,
All my fault.

529. :/
shzexian.

Should I be afraid?

2010-12-09T15:12:00.001+08:00

Not all smiles have to be new. :)

If only I got the chance to tell you,
What I wanted you to know.
But it's just an IF :)
Owh well.

400th post! :D
shzexian.

Forget, forgot, forgotten. :/

2010-12-02T22:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes all I've got to do is forget about everything and smile :)

This awesome, outrageous, wonderful, adorable, magnificent, glamorous, beautiful Nightmare.

I'm a jerk (: ♥

shzexian.

Yeah right.

2010-11-28T13:33:00.005+08:00

I've got nothing to say.
shzexian.

Relive the past.

2010-11-23T22:14:00.004+08:00

Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

Every sentence every word. It may be formed in a sentence to mean something to you. But to other people it may mean more than what you think it means. All this misunderstandings, does it really make a big difference in life? Trust me, It does.

If you were to ask me whether I have misunderstood anything that people tell me, I'll have to say I have. You can say that I'm stupid, I don't care. But before you do anything, THINK. Have you? Every human being in this world has a mind of its own. How on earth are you supposed to be sure what they're thinking of?

Till now, I still just forget about it.

1993.
shzexian.

Do you believe in me? :)

2010-11-22T13:42:00.002+08:00

I was thinking about you
Thinking bout me
Thinking bout us
What we gonna be?
Open my eyes
It was only just a dream.

It ain't about the possibility. It's whether I believe.

Sometimes I stare at the sky and wonder. Is there another person staring at the same sky as me right now? Maybe watching the same cloud float by. Could it be that somehow we met one day picturing that same part of the sky?

A rainbow after the rain brings hope. 7 colours leading to a pot of gold. Maybe you'll see a leprechaun dancing around it giving you a 4-leaved-clover when you pass by. Promising that you'll be lucky all year round. But. Who knows where the rainbow actually starts? Who knows where it ends? Who is able to determine the existence of a leprechaun? Does a 4-leaved-clover even bring luck? Sometimes things just get really illogical. But we choose to accept them as they are. 'Cause like this, we have something to believe in.

Sometimes I feel that it's better to believe than question the possibilities in life.
Never say never.

A smile gives hope just like a rainbow after the rain.
Good Luck to all SPM candidates!
shzexian. :)

Just like family. :)

2010-11-16T22:10:00.007+08:00

Two eh one :)
Happy Holidays!

One year seems so long yet passes by so fast.
I sure hope that we treasured every moment that we had together.
Smiles. :)
Laughter. :D
I hope it'll be what you think of each time you think of twoehone.

Lovess.
shzexian. <3

What are dreams made of?

2010-11-13T22:45:00.006+08:00

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛才学会飞行

夜空洒满了星星但几颗会落地

我飞行但你坠落之际

很靠近还听见呼吸

对不起我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你

我坚持不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴像倾盆大雨

碎了满地在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心

盘旋在你看不见的高空里

多的是你不知道的事

你不知道的事.

Sometimes, not everything can be told.
It makes me wonder what people are thinking every second, every minute now.
Like a strange mystery that's waiting for me to find out.
If only I could at least believe in myself for once.
If only I could at least get something that I've worked hard for.
If only I had a chance to prove myself.
Maybe I had that chance.
But I lost it.
Owh well.
FML yet just :)

路小雨. ♥
shzexian.

The last day. :')

2010-11-07T22:28:00.003+08:00

保持着灿烂的笑容
was the last words from erhu group seniors :)

I never wanted this day to come but, 天下无不散之筵席.
Wishing you guys all the best in the coming SPM and your future undertakings! :)
Good luck and SMILE! x)

Installation day.
Went to school at 7.15am? I forgot. I was barely even awake. I slept for like only 3 or 4 hours. Walking in blur mode. I was lucky I didn't hit into a pole. :P Walk walk walk. WOHOOO! I saw Yeewei and Derrick + Jamie. :D Go there sampat. And I was waiting for Jiaying's laptop to help the Form 4's finish off their slideshow. :D

Finally she came. Went up to pmo hall and rushhhhhhhhh. :D Finished it in time anyway. x) And then Kamun came. So continued doing the Form 2's slideshow. Add add. Edit edit. Test test. Save save. Loading... *Bangs head on table* Hang gei ahhhh. Ohmyladygaga man. Somemore that time the others were looking for clues. Running in and out of the small room [Direct translation. :P] Beh tahan. :PP So we let Kamun's com tidur sekejap. Kesiannya. x) So we went outside to kacau kacau. :P Wait, maybe only me. And guess what? I found Cello group's clue! :D

Sleep gao jor. Continue still hang gei. FUYOH. Don't care ady. I did what I could. Kept on changing laptops. Saving folders in pendrives. Transfering files everywhere. 3 laptop's at once weih. x) One on my lap, one on the table, one more on the chair I think. Then one Video camera and 2 Pendrives. HAHA! When I finished it I was like WOHOOO! :D Well, I couldn't do it without the help of Kamun and Aileen and all the other Form 2's! :DDD Patience did the trick! :) Well, too bad I didn't get to play. But. Hmm. I was in the same group with HuiQing, JooLin, XueWuen, TienSing, WeiZhe, Bernard and then. I dont know ady! Omg. Sat bai sangat. TSK.

Anyway, I finally got to escape from digital devices! :D Set up and test the projector. [Thankyou Jerning! :) I can still imagine the time I called her and she kept running from the phone to her dad to ask! Haha! Arigato! :D] Then. After setting the mahjong paper nicely. MAKAN LOHHH! :P Actually went down to erm... I dont know. x) Kacau itu birdy. :P

Afterthat, went up and continue doing stuff. Ahaha. Do dao syok sendiri. :P Form 1's just memang cute. ♥ Then Slideshow time. OMFG. No face ady. Hiding behind the tables. AHAHA. Actually I was supposed to adjust the amplifier but it also made a good hiding place! x) But HuiQing ahhh. :PPP Anyway, after that was the Song part. 朋友 :) Then, Form 4's sad slideshow. Phail man. Nobody cried I think. LOL. Nyahaha. x)

Then it was sharing time. Gave presents etc. I don't know how to describe ehh. D: I know I disappeared for awhile. Then I reappeared. x) Then. Hmm. And it sort of just ended like this? Something like that. :(

Well.
Thanks for everything you guys! :D

._. Rojak language.
shzexian.

What?

2010-11-05T00:47:00.002+08:00

What does the sky mean to you?

What would you do if you were stuck between two choices?
I've got my hands tied together behind my back. You say that I've got nothing to lose. But I have to choose. Why am I so afraid of losing something that was never mine? Trying to be cool but instead I became a fool. When I look up at the sky, how I wish it told me how, how I wish it told me why.

I'm just stupid. Yeah.

Thanks and I'm sorry.
shzexian.

Hope.

2010-10-31T14:04:00.002+08:00

我只是宁可对自己残忍

Looking out to the world. I see really familiar faces. But I just don't know who they are. Ruffling through the pages of history. Scanning through my mind searching for answers. I seem to find nothing but worthless trash. I'm trying really hard.

I'm trying my best to do whatever I can.
But.

现在我只需要一点安慰

shzexian.

Trust.

2010-10-30T23:46:00.004+08:00

就快不行了
但还是要撑到底

我真的累了
我真的很难受

我真的很怕

现在
我只需要
你的陪伴

不过
也算了

我失去了我最珍惜的
shzexian.

Whatthe.

2010-10-29T20:45:00.003+08:00

我们常常以为自己做得最好
其实根本就不好

人生
就是这样的
我们必须学会面对
必须学会接受

这世界不是我们所拥有的.

这次我选择了
自己知道自己面对
我不想再烦到任何人

就算死也算了

我忍
shzexian.

Believe?

2010-10-29T00:21:00.003+08:00

有时候
我真的不明白

有时候
我真的想放弃

有时候
我努力着微笑

有时候
我好想哭

有时候
我只需要一点安慰

有时候
我只选择自己知道自己面对

有时候
我想一个人到处流浪

有时候
我却需要你的陪伴

有时候...
有时候...

我好怕
我害怕

Sorry if I ever done anything wrong.

shzexian. :(

Awwww. :(

2010-10-28T00:04:00.005+08:00

每一场恶梦都有它该醒来的时候.
醒了,不代表恶梦已到了结局.
醒了,代表我为它画上了句点.

我醒了吗?

I keep lying to myself.
Telling myself that everything's alright.
Fine.
Since people love to believe in the lies more than the truths.
I'm alright.

过了怎么久我才发现
原来
我什么都不是
什么都不如

眼泪不停的划下
却找不到哭的理由
不停的痛恨自己
恨自己没有用

原来
我只是个过客

原来
你们都不曾把我放在眼里

原来
我就是那么的没有用

不曾醒过.

Seriously. What's wrong?
shzexian.

Weee. x)

2010-10-19T19:19:00.001+08:00

Enough of frowns.

Smile, shzexian. :)

Happy Birthday gor! :)

shzexian. :)

Your stupid lies.

2010-10-15T19:43:00.003+08:00

Like fire, it burns.
Everything that's happening around me. I've got no control. All I do is stand and stare. Watching the flames burn throughout. Watching them collapse one by one. There's nothing I can do, I ain't got a clue.

我真的受够了.

shzexian.

Da qualche parte.

2010-10-13T10:15:00.003+08:00

The game of life unlike a game of chess it still continues even after checkmate.

::::
Chasing me into the forest. Holding a gun in your hand. I ran as fast as I could but it seemed to be not fast enough. Until I reached roads end. I held my hands up in the air. Begging for my life back. Begging to not end it. Somewhat speechless as cold sweat slid down my forehead. You pulled the trigger. Boom. A bullet right through my chest. Collapsed in a blood bath. I thought that the game ended. I watched you walk away. Taking my last few breaths. Thinking. Checkmate.

The game between me and you might have ended ever so disastrously. But the game of my life has not ended yet. Months later. I was back on my feet. Setting off for a new adventure. This time being much more careful. Afraid that life is only giving me one chance. A vivid collection of every scene of that game. Leaving marks behind everything I do. The thrills I get from just thinking about you. Life.

Checkmate.

shzexian.

Nothing else I can do.

2010-10-12T14:13:00.003+08:00

I don't know what a sigh can do.

人永远都学不会珍惜该珍惜的.

shzexian.

You aren't.

2010-10-11T18:42:00.003+08:00

Nobody.

我们都爱欺骗自己.

shzexian.

Hmm. :)

2010-10-09T22:13:00.003+08:00

8th of October. :)

When we were still little kids, we used to fight like there was no tomorrow.
Now, we hardly even talk.

When we were still little kids, we used to race around the house.
Now, we hardly even walk together.

When we were still little kids, we used to watch cartoons together.
Now, we're busy with other digital gadgets and being in different rooms.

When we were still little kids, you used to make me cry.
Now, I just don't.

When we were still little kids, you used to hit me like I was a toy.
Now, we don't need toys.

When we were still little kids, I was your friend and you were mine.
Now, HAH! I've got thousands and you've got millions.

When we were still little kids, you used to love me and I used to love you.
Now, I guess we both still do. :)

Happy Birthday Bro! :)

shzexian.

It's not about letting go.

2010-10-06T21:46:00.003+08:00

来不及说的明天
对我们都太珍贵
就让时间冲淡这一切
把眼泪全藏在心里面

I've never ever felt this helpless before. It's like a mental breakdown after a long war. A war between my body and my mind. A war that only includes me and nothing else but myself.

I'm trying so hard to clear things off my mind. Maybe put a stop to all those unwanted thoughts and memories of the past, the present and even the future. I'm trying my best to be stronger than I usually am. I'm trying my best to be someone different and I know why it's not working. It's 'cause that isn't me. But what else have I got to do? I've got to try no matter what.

Life is about falling. And it's also how many times you manage to stand up, again and again. If you fail. It's not that the world gave up on you. It's you that has given up on yourself.

For now, I just.... hmmmmmm.

I hope that you're alright.

HAHA. :/
shzexian.

Untitled.

2010-10-04T20:38:00.004+08:00

We are constantly deciding who we are in our lives. We are always evolving.
Who we are today might not be who we are five years from now, next year, next month or even tomorrow.

So who am I?

shzexian.

Never ending love. :)

2010-10-01T23:10:00.005+08:00

I was looking through facebook and Mr Chan tagged these pictures of us in Chenmoh. Believe me, I was shocked. I didn't know that so many of them were in Chs. :P Remembering the past is a good thing. :)
Hmm. Good times. :D

Try spotting James! He's so cutee. x)
There's also Kyle, Chunyeen, Wengkong, Peksee.
Sorry but I don't know my seniors much. :P

When I was Std 5 or 6 I think.
Hyper man.
It's a good thing my face is blocked. :P
Kinda miss those days especially when Mr Chan starts fighting with ChungWai. :D

This was before a teacher's day performance I think.
Or was it childrens day?
But I remember it was during Std 5. x)
Kek sui face. o.o

I never forgot. :)
shzexian.

Whatever.

2010-09-28T19:51:00.002+08:00

Where are you?
'Cause I need you now. :'(

I noticed how everything suddenly changed.

Just one sentence. One stupid sentence. Why?
I never thought about things that way. But you just keep assuming. Why can't you just listen and understand. Rather than rubbing it in again and again. I seriously never thought of it. I NEVER thought of leaving. Each letter, each syllable of your sentence keeps repeating in my mind.

What am I supposed to do?

shzexian ahh shzexian. :(

Bye.
shzexian.

100918. :)

2010-09-19T21:04:00.007+08:00

Ganas Pipa player. o.o

Jerning and Philia. :D

PhiliaChua. :P

Xiaolaohu. ~~Rawr~~ Miao~

Mid Autumn Festival Celebration at Jerning's church. :D
Reached the church at about 5.30pm. We were supposed to be practicing but we ended of slacking. After eating, we snapped some shots of our lameness. Ahaha. Philia started ganas-ing with her pipa. LOL. Kesian her pipa kena torture every single day. D: Then we went to the back to practice. Hey! I know how to blow high note 5 for the dizi. :PP Just that it's a little on and off. HAHA! :P

Performance time.
GAH. I messed 武术 up. Really messed up. All the times we practiced nothing wrong except for 音准. But then, messed up. D: Summer was okay except for the high notes. 音准 my god ahh. It's a good thing that the song isn't replaying in my head right now. And thank god there's no videos! :P doremifasolatido. :D

After the performance. I felt kinda wtf. Who cares anyway. :P We went to play with the tanglungs? With the small kids? Which were really small? LOL. Play play har, we sat in the middle of the road. We started talking and chatting. Then Yile, Jieying, Kangzhe and Kangyu came over and started telling lame jokes and stories. Yile is freaking lame. :PP We got zadou-ed over and over again. x)

Then, 'cause we were sitting under the stars in the car park, we had to move 'cause a car wanted to leave. So we moved and continued. LOL. We wanted to tell ghost stories but Phebe was afraid so she left. Well, I think Anna did tell one. But I wasn't really paying attention. It was about the old lady's pinky. Ahaha. Then Philia came back, we pretended that we were telling jokes. Laughing like siao. :P

Then, Kangyu told some lame story. That wasn't scary at all. We were all like silent for awhile. And then suddenly Kangzhe shouted a loud 'Boo!' at Phebe and she screamed really loudly and really high pitched. LOL. Imba. Everybody came up with the same conclusion. They weren't frightened by Kangzhe but frightened by Phebe. Haha. :P

Then we told somemore lame jokes and went to get our stuff to go home. Went back home and fell dead on the bed but crawled up to use the computer. HAHA! Typical teenager. :D

Lalala.
Quite an awesome day. :)
shzexian.

Once upon a time. :)

2010-09-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

I felt the wind pass by. :)

We were running, rushing, racing ourselves to that heaven of ours. It was like paradise where we played hide and seek. Everywhere we went, every corner we turned. It was like another step closer to a whole new world. We were never patient, we never waited for our turn. We pushed our ways through and pulled our ways out. Even if we fell, we just stood right up and continued running again and again... :)

The playground. :D
Childhood memories.

shzexian.

Say nothing.

2010-09-13T00:27:00.004+08:00

It's really late at night. And really early in the morning. :)
Why am I here?

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a world full of strangers. People that I used to know have lost their identities. No longer people that mean something. No longer people that understand. It's like I'm lost in a world full of nothing. Walking done this lonely road. Do I look like I have a choice to choose where I'm supposed to go? People look at me with eyes full of reluctance. Refusing to accept me as who I am. Once again I'm reminded to not care. But does this mean I have to pretend?

I've always been taught to put on a smile no matter how bad things are. Well. Good news. I'm smiling. :)

After some realization. After some understanding. After some regretting. After some thinking. Hmm. Who cares anyway?

shzexian, sometimes you've got to realize that you're an idiot. :)

Tears. :)
shzexian.

It depends.

2010-09-08T22:52:00.003+08:00

What do you actually feel when you're listening to a song?

To me, it depends.

Sometimes.
Not everything can be put into words. Not all feelings can be changed into alphabets or turned into phrases. That's when I can only leave them for myself to feel. Feel the warmth of my tears that touch my skin on a cold night. Feel the way my smile turns upside down. Feel the way my heart beats faster and slower. Feel the way I feel when everything in my brain is at war. When the angel fights with the devil. When my brain fights with heart. When my body fights with my soul.

I've been listening to the same songs over and over again every night. Same melody. Same lyrics. Same feelings. Same emotions. Right before I drift into a dream and break away from reality. As the songs form the storyline of my dream. Let the war end and start swaying to the melody. As frowns turn upright and tears come to and end.

Rest, to put a stop to all those fighting.

Smiles, to show peace and love in everyone.

Lyrics, to turn feelings into words.

Melodies, the actual state of the composers feelings.

The dreamer, the controller of the mind. :)

erh.
shzexian.