Have you ever met someone that's just too important to you that even saying a simple goodbye is hard?
I have.
I have.
::::::
Such familiar feelings.
Such familiar thoughts.
I never thought that anyone would have understood how I felt back then. But now, it's like I'm seeing my shadows all over him. Everything that he said, it was the same as I used too. Back then, all that I was feeling was, I wanna talk but yet I don't want to. The feeling is like you just want someone to sit next to you and understand everything inside of you without you talking. And yet I still wonder how, how I've forgotten that feeling, how I've faced everything in a new different way. But just now, it was like I had a trip back to the past, watching the old me living such a pathetic life. I realised that I wasted those years. I realised that actually not everybody cares eventhough their called friends. And I realised that all those times there was only one person that was there for me. I glanced through the long abandoned ahiddenshadow. Trying to understand each and every post again, and I wondered, what the hell happened back then. I wanted to reach back into my brain and dig up my past but it was as if it was some sort of virus being blocked by a firewall that was set up in my brain. Maybe it's just my brains way of telling me to forget about it. Right, forget about it. I closed the tab, and continued staring at the chatbox that was still waiting for my reply. What did that person do when I needed someone the most, I thought. Cheer up kayy. No matter how hard you fall or how many pieces you're broken into, you'll always have your friends there to help you pick them up. (: I sent that message. A message that I never once let off my mind. His following replies were full of different types of frowny faces. I was thinking what would have happened to him that made him so down in the dumps today. Right, every thought of her would. I kinda feel sorry for him. Putting his heart out for someone he truly cares about yet that person doensn't even take a second look at him. Looking at myself right now, I'm wondering if I'm doing the same thing. I don't wanna go back to where I came from. He, as a friend, knew that I was way different than before. He tried to find out why, put I never wanted to talk about it, all i did was say that I'm okay. Now, when it's his turn. I finally know how every I'm okay is just a phrase to tell the whole world that you're NOT okay. I feel so helpless, unable to help him although I know the reason to everything. wth. He said that he had someone. Someone that he could trust, someone that was really important to him in a way that he could blab everything and anything out. I told him to go look for that person. His replies were then that he was afraid. Again, I saw the past of me. I too used to feel afraid, afraid of looking for someone to talk too, afraid that I might be pushed away. Yeahh, that feeling that makes you go insane. In the end, some of those worries became tears. I remember how it felt to cry more than an hour but having nobody's shoulder to cry on. Hmmm. I know he has. I know he has cried. Staring at that chatbox, I was trying to think of a way to let him know that he shouldn't be like this 'cause I've been through it and it sucks. But, I couldn't. Typing and erasing words. I was out of them! I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Then I thought. Maybe I should let him face all these, 'cause if I didn't back then, I would not be able to sit here today typing this. Right, falling down is a part of life; standing up too. But you wont always have to do it alone. Maybe you fell down alone, but trust me, you would not need to learn to stand on your own. You've always got people waiting to help you. It's just that you don't know. How I wish I actually understood all these back then. Hmmm?
Cheers kay.
Like always,
I've got your back. (:
Such familiar feelings.
Such familiar thoughts.
I never thought that anyone would have understood how I felt back then. But now, it's like I'm seeing my shadows all over him. Everything that he said, it was the same as I used too. Back then, all that I was feeling was, I wanna talk but yet I don't want to. The feeling is like you just want someone to sit next to you and understand everything inside of you without you talking. And yet I still wonder how, how I've forgotten that feeling, how I've faced everything in a new different way. But just now, it was like I had a trip back to the past, watching the old me living such a pathetic life. I realised that I wasted those years. I realised that actually not everybody cares eventhough their called friends. And I realised that all those times there was only one person that was there for me. I glanced through the long abandoned ahiddenshadow. Trying to understand each and every post again, and I wondered, what the hell happened back then. I wanted to reach back into my brain and dig up my past but it was as if it was some sort of virus being blocked by a firewall that was set up in my brain. Maybe it's just my brains way of telling me to forget about it. Right, forget about it. I closed the tab, and continued staring at the chatbox that was still waiting for my reply. What did that person do when I needed someone the most, I thought. Cheer up kayy. No matter how hard you fall or how many pieces you're broken into, you'll always have your friends there to help you pick them up. (: I sent that message. A message that I never once let off my mind. His following replies were full of different types of frowny faces. I was thinking what would have happened to him that made him so down in the dumps today. Right, every thought of her would. I kinda feel sorry for him. Putting his heart out for someone he truly cares about yet that person doensn't even take a second look at him. Looking at myself right now, I'm wondering if I'm doing the same thing. I don't wanna go back to where I came from. He, as a friend, knew that I was way different than before. He tried to find out why, put I never wanted to talk about it, all i did was say that I'm okay. Now, when it's his turn. I finally know how every I'm okay is just a phrase to tell the whole world that you're NOT okay. I feel so helpless, unable to help him although I know the reason to everything. wth. He said that he had someone. Someone that he could trust, someone that was really important to him in a way that he could blab everything and anything out. I told him to go look for that person. His replies were then that he was afraid. Again, I saw the past of me. I too used to feel afraid, afraid of looking for someone to talk too, afraid that I might be pushed away. Yeahh, that feeling that makes you go insane. In the end, some of those worries became tears. I remember how it felt to cry more than an hour but having nobody's shoulder to cry on. Hmmm. I know he has. I know he has cried. Staring at that chatbox, I was trying to think of a way to let him know that he shouldn't be like this 'cause I've been through it and it sucks. But, I couldn't. Typing and erasing words. I was out of them! I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Then I thought. Maybe I should let him face all these, 'cause if I didn't back then, I would not be able to sit here today typing this. Right, falling down is a part of life; standing up too. But you wont always have to do it alone. Maybe you fell down alone, but trust me, you would not need to learn to stand on your own. You've always got people waiting to help you. It's just that you don't know. How I wish I actually understood all these back then. Hmmm?
Cheers kay.
Like always,
I've got your back. (:
(: ?
You're a smiley face that I always keep in mind.
A kind of memory that makes me feel better, sometimes. (:
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