Only you know the answers.

If you got a chance to make a wish, only one, what would it be?
World peace?
A bestfriend?
New shoes?
Or something to believe in?

What's that one thing that you think about before you sleep each night?
A special friend?
A sweet memory?
A familiar smile?
Or just that person who has never left your mind?

What's that thing that makes your day no matter how sad you are?
A bar of chocolate?
Company from your bestfriend?
Knowing that there's someone always there for you?
Or just that warm smile from a very special person?





I no longer know what's this and that.
Everything somehow is like nothing.
What does this mean?





shzexian.

Yuexiang. (: Christmas Eve! :D

Yuexiang (:

::::
The day started off waking up, brushing my teeth, taking a bath, getting dressed, slouching on the couch, watching TV, eating breakfast, packing up clothes and OFF to Jerning's house! :)

I was supposed to reach Jerning's house at 1 sharp. LOL. But I reached at 1.10pm. It felt so unusual. I've never been late! Well, the reason I was late was 'cause of the massive jam. FRIDAY MAHHH. ;D And maybe 'cause it's Christmas EVE! x)

Afterthat, we went to fetch Rueyying and Rueyping! And off to Bukit Jalil Golf Club! :D Reached there, went upstairs to the Langkawi room. Everyone there was preparing for the drama. Props, music, scripts etc. So, chat har, sit har, stand har, walk har, slack har, play har. Time for rehearsal! First was one of the teacher's singing. Then, huayue. Next was drama, really LOL weih.

After rehearsal, we went to change. All black! ;D Then went for dinner. Eat eat eat. Then we walked down to the golf course. I think we weren't supposed to be there. But who cares anyway. Who knows when I'll ever step into a golf course again? :) Philia made a really important phone call. x) And Jerning was snatching a baby from SeeMin. I almost fell down while going up the stairs 'cause it just rained. >.< And rueyying's heart skipped a beat 'cause she was right behind me! :D So we went into Tioman room to start practicing! ;D

When it was almost our turn, we lined up the hall. Waiting and waiting. Jerning was playing concert songs like Yarlung. And then we were talking, chatting. AHAHA. Like that lahh. :) You know what, I seriously dislike the things that happen to your instrument when the temperature of the surroundings changes. Pfft! Kept on going off tune. But nevermind lah. At least nothing major happened. (: So, we went on stage. And performed. 3 songs, maybe less than 10 minutes? :D Bowed, went down stage. Kept my stuff. And got ready for drama. I was incharged of lighting. x)

Yeahhh. This was how it looked like. ;D

So when it was our turn, lol, I was literally pushed into the backroom. It was so dark I could not read the script properly. Epic weih. So I was looking outside, hoping I wont off or on the lights at the wrong time. Awwwwww. I hope I did not. :) Everyone outside were rushing here and there. Getting their props and changing their costumes. Tick tock. ;D

Scene One (:

Time to Partayy! ;D

1300-88-2525. :P
Pizza hut special delivery!

Xueying was the Christmas tree. :D

Scene Two.

Kai Sheng. :D

And Jieying as the girlfriend. LOL.

Phebe's non-stop omgwtflol(?) laughing. xD

SANTA was played by Chee Chow. :)

Christmas shopping!

She got a discounted handbag. 70% i think.
It cost RM9999999.99. ;D

Scene 3.

Wayne as the Dad.
Anna, Veeanna, YanYi and SeeMin as the children.

XueYing amazingly transformed from a tree to a mom. (:

:D


Scene Four.

2010 years ago?

AHAHA! Phebe and Jiewei! x)





The End. :)

Afterthat, there were other performances and stuff going on. Lots of singing! LOL The first time I heard Christmas songs in Chinese! (:

Spot teojerning's dad! :D

Kangzhe singing.

And Kangyu playing the piano.

And then alot of stuff happened. ;D Or maybe not that much. But we left at about 10.30pm? I forgot. Before that, picture taking time! x)

Jerning and Jiewei. (:

Teorueyying! :D

Philia Chua (:

Phebe Chua (:

Jie Wei (:

Anna.
LOL.

Veeanna's brother! Cute eh. x)

Shu lian lao shi and Jiewei. :D

Yingzhen! :)

:)

Anna. EPIC weih.

Teojerning and Philia :D



Definitely a night to remember! ;D

101224.
Christmas Eve!
shzexian. :)

Thankyou,

For letting me know that I'm just a piece of crap.



It's not the goodbyes that hurt, it's the flashback that follows.
Lots of stuff are running through my mind right now. What happened a year ago. Months ago. Weeks ago. That day. Hours ago. Minutes ago. Seconds ago.

It's really saddening how different it has been. I keep asking myself why. But my mind just keeps telling me it's all my fault. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Who cares anyway. I know no one does. :)



I finally know what I lost.













就算再难过也算了.
shzexian.

Sometimes we have to understand,

Life ain't gonna always be the way we want it to be.

Hmmmmmm.

I seriously don't understand why I've been feeling so like this lately. It's like I've lost something. But when I try to remember, it's like I've never had it. Like a fairytale in a nightmare. How I wish that someone can actually understand just by reading this. You can say that words don't mean much. But sometimes it's all I've got. :|










529 947.
shzexian.

Lost with no direction,

our faith is shaking.


I guess I've really lost what I used to have.


Every time it hurts like it's a brand new wound. Like the scar was never a scar. Like it never stopped bleeding. Like I'm reliving all those yesterday's again and again.


Or maybe I have not had them before.

301209, 111210.
The best dream yet the worst nightmare.

Lately, I've been constantly reminded how I've been such a failure.
Being a failure that does every single effing crap yet other people get the credit.
Work so hard for something I wanted to get yet never got it.
Trying my best to fix every crap problem that YOU have yet got me tangled inside.
Did everything people asked me to do just to make them happy.
Being blamed for things I didn't do yet never got the chance to clear it all off.

I've been holding in every single sign of anger. Never shouting and screaming at any of these people. And in the end, all I get is being treated like I never existed.

I've lost the feeling that not many people can give.
Whatever you say.
It's still,
All my fault.

529. :/
shzexian.

Should I be afraid?

Not all smiles have to be new. :)

If only I got the chance to tell you,
What I wanted you to know.
But it's just an IF :)
Owh well.

400th post! :D
shzexian.

Forget, forgot, forgotten. :/

Sometimes all I've got to do is forget about everything and smile :)

This awesome, outrageous, wonderful, adorable, magnificent, glamorous, beautiful Nightmare.




I'm a jerk (: ♥

shzexian.